My 10 Favorite Christmas Songs

I love Christmas.

It’s the only time of year when the whole world changes and society becomes consumed with its own traditions. The movies, the food, the music, the lights, everything shifts towards warmth. I’m already a nostalgic person, but December is the only time of the year where it’s socially acceptable to become lost in tradition.

It’s the darkest, coldest, most forgiving time of the year. The only way we can survive it is by literally coming together to use each other for heat and support. In a way, these traditions are just a way for us to make this time of the year less painful. To distract ourselves from the horrifying coldness of reality. Maybe that’s why these traditions seem so extra special and warm, just by sheer context and juxtaposition of what they’re surrounded by.

As per usual, music lies at the center of nostalgia for me. For many people, Christmas music is something to be endured. Songs they’ve heard hundreds (or thousands) of times before. They evoke flashes of clogged department stores, congested supermarkets, and uncomfortable get-togethers of yesteryear. I get that, but I think there’s also beauty in these songs, especially if you’re willing to dig deeper than the usual Christmas standards.

Spotify Playlist Link

10) Julian Casablancas “I Wish it was Christmas Today”

Any time an SNL original get adapted by one of the seminal indie rockers of the 2000’s you know you’re in for a treat. As chronicled here by the AV Club, “I Wish it was Christmas Today” originated as a child-like Casio-laden goof about which, while inexplicable at first, quickly became an SNL tradition. Initially met with polite giggles, the crowd rapidly descends into joyous belly laughter at the sheer absurdity of four grown men this excited about Santa. The child-like lyrics, the unadulterated joy, the sloppiness are all the things that make SNL an institution. Covered in 2009 by The Strokes’ Julian Casablancas, this version begins with a singular shaking bell which quickly becomes drowned out by a maniacal drum roll and thundering guitar. Eventually, Casablancas makes his way to the forefront of the track retaining the same child-like lyrics from the original song. The swagger that Casablancas brings transforms the track into a post-modern, post-ironic, Christmas classic.

9 - LCD Soundsystem “Christmas Will Break Your Heart”

Following a monumental final album and indefinite hiatus, LCD Soundsystem announced their return in 2015 in the weirdest way possible: with a Christmas original. Released on Christmas Eve, “Christmas Will Break Your Heart” served as the band’s first single in five years and a proclamation to indieheads everywhere that LCD was back. The song itself serves as a cautionary tale of the many dark pitfalls of Christmas, detailing the various ways that the season will abuse you, beat you down, and drain you of life. It’s a depressing Christmas song tinged with happiness as James Murphy explains that despite the laundry list of horrible ways Christmas will wreck you, he’s “still coming home.” And that’s what the holidays are all about.

8 - Vulfpeck “Christmas In LA”

Funk band Vulfpeck is known for a lot of things. When they’re not releasing silent albums, conceptual Kickstarter campaigns, or composing some of the catchiest tunes of the past decade, they also release some worryingly funky songs. Initially released as an instrumental track on their breakthrough EP Fugue State, the song “Christmas in LA” felt like a weird outlier. While the track did evoke a certain Peanuts-esque of sense chilliness, there was nothing overtly Christmassy about it. I suppose it’s true to its name, “Christmas in LA” might feel like something, but it’s definitely a far cry from a White Christmas. The track was later revisited on the band’s first full-length album Thrill of the Arts now fleshed-out with jingle bells, and a Michael-Jackson impersonating David T. Walker on vocals. With that revision, the song became a fully-realized Christmas track worthy of all the strutting, swagger, and snarling lips you could humanly muster.

7 - August Burns Red “Carol of the Bells”

On its own, separate from Christmas “Carol of the Bells” is an incredible song. With ominous monk-like chants, ceaseless momentum, and of course, the titular bells. While the song has been covered by everyone from Trans-Siberian Orchestra to the cast of NBC’s Community, I believe the definitive edition was released by metalcore act August Burns Red as a bonus track on the genre’s seminal Messengers. Featuring wickedly-fuzzed out guitars, tight blast beats, and more bass drum than you can shake a crime stick at, this rendition is not for the faint of heart. Later re-recorded for the band’s Christmas album Sleddin’ Hill, “Carol of the Bells” still stands tall as one of the best songs on the album, and the band’s catalog.

6 - Burl Ives “Silver and Gold”

For the sake of following up the thrashy metal of August Burns Red with something more relaxing, this Rudolph the Reindeer standard is an absolute classic. The rich voice of Burl Ives is accompanied by a lightly-strummed guitar and swirling instrumentation as he sings very literally about the concept of silver and gold. Silver and gold on their own are great, but put those on a Christmas tree and they instantly become more meaningful. See also the cover by Sufjan Stevens horrifyingly titled “Justice Delivers Its Death.”

5 - Mariah Carey “All I want for Christmas is You”

Sexy outfits aside, Mariah Carey has cemented herself as a pop icon by single-handedly adding a modern track to the Christmas lexicon. Beginning with a solitary music box, Carey soon enters with sultry vocals and several irresponsibly-vocalized notes. At 50 seconds the piano kicks into Billy-Joel-mode and the song becomes a rocketship of energy, jubilance, and holiday spirit.

4 - Trans Siberian Orchestra “Christmas Eve/Sarajevo”

I’m technically doubling up, but TSO’s medley of  "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" and “Carol of the Bells” is epic enough to warrant its own spot on this list. This shred-heavy rendition of two Christmas classics is enough to turn atheists into believers… Or the exact opposite. It’s living proof that Christmas doesn’t need to be safe, clean, or overly-religious. Sometimes it’s a wailing guitar and modern interpretations of classics.

3 - Sufjan Stevens - “Christmas Unicorn”

Sufjan Stevens is a Christmas maniac. Between 2001 and 2011  he released 10 EPs of Christmas music, later collected in two box sets, the EPs span 100 tracks and dozens of different genres and sounds. In addition to the 6 vinyl records, his second Christmas collection included stickers, temporary tattoos, cut-out ornaments, and a lengthy write-up of the artist’s thoughts on the holiday. The releases contain almost as many original tracks as covers of Christmas standards. At the tail end of the tenth EP, the last song of 100, lies a Sufjan original called “Christmas Unicorn”- a world-spanning 12-minute epic of electronic bloops, guitar vibrations, and cathartic lyrics.

The song begins similarly to “Christmas Will Break Your Heart” with a biting list of modern day Holiday gripes. Sung from the perspective of the “Christmas Unicorn” whose identifying features are a wrist adorned with a credit card and being “hysterically American.” After self-describing himself as a “symbol of original sin” Sufjan goes on to address the listener directly:

“For you’re a Christmas unicorn / I have seen you on the beat / You may dress in the human uniform, child /  But I know you’re just like me

Those lines are followed up with a sprawling instrumental and a beautiful build. He then goes on to clarify “I’m the Christmas Unicorn, you’re the Christmas Unicorn too” and repeats that phrase as the music builds into a cathartic release that crescendos with a cry of “It’s all right, I love you!”

2 - Tchaikovsky “Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy”

You may or may not be shocked by this, but I’ve never been a “ballet guy.” That said, the soundtrack of the Nutcracker Ballet has always been something that stuck with me. Since I don’t have the vocabulary to properly break down ballet or classical pieces, I’ll simply state my love for this song in an ironic way to cover up my own ignorance: “Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy” is FUCKING LIT.

There’s something dark and sinister about this song that’s appealed to me ever since I was a child. I don’t know how the song fits into the context of the play, but I can only imagine something horrifically dark and life-altering is happening as this song plays. It evokes the darkness of the holiday and something deadly lurking just out of sight.

1 - Band Aid “Do they know it’s Christmas”

“Do they know it’s Christmas” premiered in 1984 featuring everyone from U2’s Bono to Wham!’s George Michael… okay maybe that isn’t a vast range, but it’s more about what this song represents. The coordination of artists alone is impressive. The fact that dozens of singers have (repeatedly) signed off on this charitable effort is a beautiful notion. While it’s been covered by everyone from The Barenaked Ladies to the entire LA comedy scene, the track original song has remained the best and cemented itself as a wholesome holiday classic.

Star-studded nature of this song aside, “Do they know it’s Christmas” features some of the most iconic, beautiful, and oddly haunting lines of any Christmas song. Reminding ourselves of how well we have it, and to help out those in need is what this season is really about. The holidays are fun, but there’s still a world out there. Band Aid symbolizes a concerted effort to come together, set egos aside and give back. It’s the ultimate symbol of goodwill and the holiday season wrapped in one of the most poetic and gorgeously-written songs of the past several decades.

My Favorite Albums of 2016

2016 has been an unforgettable year. For art, for politics, for life. There are now so many avenues for music that it’s easy for things to slip through the cracks. I’m still trying to dig through my own mountainous backlog of music, podcasts, movies, and games. In a year of uncertainty, darkness, and constant change, these albums brought bright rays of hope and beauty into my life.

Before I get into my top ten, I’d like to name a few honorable mentions. These are ten albums (in no particular order) that I found incredible, yet didn’t quite make it into my top ten.

• Bon Iver - 22, A Million

• Explosions in The Sky - The Wilderness

• Denzel Curry - Imperial

• Schoolboy Q - Blank Face LP

• Anderson .Paak - Malibu

• Wilco - Schmilco

• Kendrick Lamar - Untitled, Unmastered

• Weezer - Weezer (The White Album)

• Vulfpeck - The Beautiful Game

• Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties - Bittersweet 7”

Obviously, I would recommend these albums (and the following ten) to anyone, but for one reason or another, these ten were all edged out by other releases this year. Now that I’ve named the runner-ups, let’s get into the good stuff, starting with number ten.

10 - Francis and the Lights - Farewell, Starlight!

Francis and the Lights is the project (solo act?) of the futuristically-named Francis Farewell Starlite. After surprising the world with his Bon-Iver-esque feature on Chance The Rapper’s “Summer Friends” earlier in the year, Francis released his debut album Farewell, Starlite! in late September. The album is “fall music” perfected, offering a wide array of spacey, introverted, jagged electronic sounds that all inspire the listener to look inward and absorb the world around them. The record shifts from dancey Michael Jackson impersonations on “I Want You to Shake” to somber reflection on “My City’s Gone” within a matter of minutes. Clocking in at a little over 30 minutes, Farewell, Starlite! is a pointed ode to Peter Gabriel wrapped in a neutral-colored turtleneck.

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9 - M83 - Junk

Anything following M83’s critical darling and ambitious double album Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming was bound to be divisive and over-analyzed. In the face of following up that artistic achievement with their seventh studio album, M83 decided to fully lean into 80’s nostalgia and unbridled cheese. If the space muppets and Play-Doh cheeseburger on the cover weren’t enough indication, this album has its foot firmly planted in two very different realms. After opening with the accessible but veiled “Do It, Try It” the band immediately launches into “Go!” an absolute monster of guitar wankery and anthemic drums.

Several songs later, the record goes fully off kilter with “Moon Crystal” a song that sounds like it was ripped straight out an 80’s NBC interstitial alerting you that a new episode of Alf was up next. Junk as earnest as it is cheesy, it’s genuine about its love for corniness. I appreciate whenever an artist embraces both ends of a spectrum like that, especially following something as “artistic” as Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming.

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8 - Dance Gavin Dance - Mothership

All these years later, there’s still a shell of angry metalcore kid left somewhere in me, and Dance Gavin Dance is living proof of that. After being mostly disappointed with the band’s previous effort Instant Gratification, I took a gamble on Mothership because it happened to release at a time when I had an extra $10 lying around. Their newest record represents a return to the band’s earlier darker sound without losing any of the humor, heaviness, or musicianship they’ve developed over the course of their decade-plus career. In fact, tracks like “Inspire the Liars” and “Man Of The Year” represent new artistic peaks for the band as every member seems to be exploring the bounds of their respective instruments.

Mothership manages to bring the band into interesting new (even catchy) territories while still retaining what made them special in the first place. Tillian’s lung-collapsing scream on “Inspire the Liars” is one of the most impressive things I’ve ever heard in the genre, and single-handedly turned me back into a believer.

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7 - Modern Baseball - Holy Ghost

In a year of bands releasing follow-ups to albums I loved, I was most nervous about Modern Baseball’s Holy Ghost. The band’s previous album You’re Gonna Miss It All was an absolute revelation at the time it released in 2014 and represented an uplifting shift in the somewhat-stale realm of pop-punk. Their newest release may not be as catchy, immediate, or narrative as their last, but upon each listen Holy Ghost slowly reveals more of its layers to you.

Split into two halves between the band’s dual frontmen, Side A addresses death and loss while Side B deals with Brendan Lukens’ ongoing struggle with depression. Heavy stuff for such a relatively upbeat half-hour, but the band manages to pack all that and more within a tight record that is eager to reveal its purpose to those willing to listen.

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6 - Young Thug - Slime Season 3

After being propelled to the forefront of the underground hip-hop scene in 2015 with critical darling Barter 6, nearly 100 Young Thug tracks were leaked and released onto the digital winds of the Internet. The Slime Season series of mixtapes served as a way for Young Thug to (graciously) finalize a majority of those half-finished leaked songs. Slime Season 3 is the final installation in this series and represents the death of this period in Thug’s career.

With 8 tracks stretched over 28 minutes, there was no room for error, no space for filler, and no time to waste. As a result, SS3 represents Thug at his most ferocious, lively, and spry. Hopping onto beats and careening over them like a car without brakes, this tape represents boundless creativity, energy, and excitement as he looked forward to his next phase in music. Slime Season 3 is perhaps the best sample platter of his arsenal of sounds, from his careless screams on “Drippin’” to his tender “Worth It” Thug jumps between different deliveries with ease and elegance. The tape is an absolute blast to listen to, and unfortunately, that’s something that music sometimes forgets to do.

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5 - Angel Olsen - My Woman

My Woman represented a defiant shift away from Angel Olsen’s previous role as an airy female folk guitarist and toward a grounded, psychedelic, indie rocker. Opening with the upbeat and clear “Intern” the album reveals its intention and purpose, then collapses losing all physical strength halfway through. The album’s third song “Shut Up Kiss Me” features a monstrous drum beat and an unwavering Angel Olsen on vocals as every instrument rapidly builds up to its dramatic crescendo. 

By the second half of the record, the party is over and the remaining four tracks have only enough energy left for spaced-out thoughts and introspection. “Sister” and “Woman” are both seven-minute epics with atmospheric builds that offer ruminations on what it means to be a woman in 2016.

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4 - Chance the Rapper - Coloring Book

When I think back on 2016, it’s likely this album is what will first come to mind. Following his 2013 underground hit Acid Rap Chance the Rapper has slowly been building his Rolodex working with everyone from Skrillex to Quavo and honing his skills in the process. In 2015 he swung his weight around and helped release a surprise album for free on iTunes which is an achievement on its own. In early 2016 he dropped one of the most talked-about verses on “Ultralight Beam,” the opening track to Kanye West’s newest record. The gospel-influenced verse represented a symbolic passing of the torch to the new school of Chicago rap and quickly propelled Chance to an entirely new level of mainstream exposure.

After the unparalleled success of his guest feature at the beginning of the year, Chance segued that momentum to his third mixtape Coloring Book. Inspired primarily by the birth of his daughter, Coloring Book goes from bouncy middle finger rap on “No Problem” to relationship woes on “Same Drugs” before turning away from all of that towards his family on “Blessings (Reprise)” Coloring Book represents an uncompromisingly bright, optimistic, and exuberant album in the face of a world that seemingly gets darker every day.

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3 - Radiohead - A Moon Shaped Pool

Released on Mother’s Day, Radiohead’s first album in 5 years served as a universal gift of beauty and glimmering light to the world. Aided by the Johnny Greenwood’s newfound orchestral skills, this record sees Radiohead revisiting a plethora of previously unreleased gems, now fully-realized and set in stone in a single gorgeous album.

Sonically, the album is vague and formless. It wasn’t until about ten listens that individual tracks even became apparent to me. The album bleeds together in a beautiful and interesting way that makes it feel like one complete piece. It’s one journey that needs every part to work. The individual tracks are still there, but they’re a part of something bigger.

The album’s final song “True Love Waits” is a haunting reflection of love lost, unrequited, and broken. It’s a solitary piece of sadness that the band sends the listener back into the world with. After fifty minutes of foggy, string-laden beauty, it serves as one final reminder that the world is still the world. You can only escape that reality for so long.

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2 - Kanye West - The Life of Pablo

As if there was any doubt after my recent Kanye-exaltation/defense, Kanye West’s controversial The Life of Pablo was a shoe-in for my top 10. Part of the joy of this album came from its rocky release painstakingly depicted here. The communal misery, speculation, uncertainty, coping, and conspiracy theories were a joy to be a part of, and led to some of the most joy-filled moments of my 20-year-long Internet career. More recently, the obsessive fan-created remix The Life of Paul has offered a fresh perspective on the beauty that lies at the album’s core. Even more recently, Kanye’s admission to the hospital following constant touring presents itself as a telling narrative on the media, mental illness, and the creators we hold so dear.

The album itself is a schizophrenic jumbled mess that jumps between dozens of sounds within its jam-packed 20 tracks. It’s a testament to the time we live in, and our scattered perspectives in 2016. Every track on TLOP (including the interludes) has sentimental value for me. Every single one of them. The album single-handedly gave us Desiigner, elevated Chance the Rapper, and spawned one of my favorite memes of the year. Additionally, Kanye’s strategy of “updating” the album after its release sparked discussions on what an “album” is in a streaming world. It’s been a pop cultural gift.

Cultural impact aside, the music is some of the most honest, atmospheric, and self-aware that West has ever made. With topics ranging from prescription drug abuse to the birth of his second child, TLOP is a monument not only to Kanye, but to 2016 as a whole. Upon first listen it doesn’t feel like an album, more of a scattered playlist of tracks that could be put in any order and still work. I’d argue that’s the point. While Kanye’s previous releases have all had specific sounds and “points” to them, TLOP is utterly pointless, and maybe that’s the point.

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1 - Frank Ocean - Blonde

Following a four-year silence and years of delays, Frank Ocean emerged from his undisclosed monastery with a bizarre stair-building social experiment. After finessing his way out of his record deal with that visual album he released Blonde the very next day. It wasn’t what fans were expecting, or wanted, but it’s what they got. Blonde is Frank Ocean’s immortal monument.

Sometimes only offering fragments of ideas in between skits, poetry, and social commentary, Blonde is an album that was meant to last. Every word of this album was planned. Every sound, every keystroke, and off-kilter delivery were meant to be. It’s a finely-crafted piece of beauty, and I can’t think of a single thing that could make it better.

Midway through the album on the unsuspecting track “Self Control” Ocean gradually fades to silence as he repeats “I, I, I, know you gotta leave, leave, leave. Take down some summer time. Give it up just for tonight, night, night” and it’s one of the most beautiful, whole, and perfect things I’ve ever heard put to song.

It’s crazy to say since I honestly wasn’t a fan of channel ORANGE, but I bought into the hype of this album and checked it out in a spur-of-the-moment decision. Upon first listen, the album sort of bleeds together as one amorphous dreamy piece, but upon re-listens, different moments peek out and reveal themselves.

On a personal note, Blonde is inextricably tied to the Summer. As I wrapped up my final ties with school, internships, and countless different safety nets, this album represents the start of my new life. As I listened and re-listened to this album I also devoured Stranger Things (twice) and spent a week endlessly hiking around a riverside loop while on vacation at my personal heaven on earth Sunriver, Oregon. It was a dreamy, other-worldly state, and one that now comes over me every time I press play on this album.

Blonde is a deeply personal album. It’s deeply personal to me, but more importantly, it’s deeply personal to Frank Ocean. It’s an out-of-body experience. It feels like I’m listening to a piece of Frank Ocean’s soul. It feels like a person encased in amber and etched into the grooves of vinyl. It’s absolutely incredible, breathtaking and unlike anything else in 2016.

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The Great Swell

In lieu of completing one of the half-written, obsessively-researched, and semi-thought-out blog posts in my Google Drive, I’m opting to post a spur-of-the-moment write-up on Kanye West.

Ever since 2005 and his massively off-script “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” Kanye has been the subject of countless controversies. From 2009’s infamous “I’mma let you finish” to his “YOU AIN’T GOT THE ANSWERS” outburst, there has been no shortage of discussions, memes, or attention surrounding Kanye West. His 2012 relationship and eventual marriage to Kim Kardashian brought him exponentially more media attention and cemented him as one of the most watched (and hated) men in America.

I believe that Kanye West is an unbridled force for good in this universe.

Kanye is controversial, sure, but is that enough reason to hate him? You know what else happened in 2005? He appeared on Oprah and debuted a song dedicated to his mother. You know what else happened in 2009? His mother passed. (Just to bring it full circle, he played this heartbreaking version of that Oprah song after her passing). Kanye isn’t the monster that the media likes to paint him as. People blindly hate Kanye because they only see the unscripted viral moments and pass judgment with those videos as their sole evidence. They know his attachment to the Kardashians (another source of unfounded hatred) and end up disliking him with zero research.

Kanye isn’t a monster. He’s manic.

Kanye has openly talked about Lexapro in songs and even quietly released a song called “I Feel Like That” which is the most open, frank, and honest discussion of mental health that I’ve ever heard in a song.

Do you feel tempered outbursts, that you cannot control?

Feeling lonely, even when you are with people, feeling blocked.

Feeling blue, sad, feeling disinterested in things, feeling fearful.

Are your feelings easily hurt?

Feeling that people are unfriendly, or do you feel like people dislike you?

I feel like that

I feel like that

I feel like that

I feel like that all the time

This weekend Kanye controversy reached a fever pitch as he found himself at the center of a series of increasingly bad decisions. We were watching him spiral out of control on a national stage in real time. I was driven to write this because the public at large handled his actions with as much tact as you would expect.

Friday 11/18 - Kanye sparked a new wave of controversy with a “pro-Trump” rant at an Inglewood concert. The media (and general public) ran with the headline of “Kanye Supports Trump” when in reality his words were much more bipartisan:

“West elaborated throughout the show. He stated that while he admired Trump’s debating style – saying that it was “genius” because it “worked” – his true reason for backing the Republican was that his win would inspire racists to reveal themselves. “This is the beginning,” West said, according to one attendee, adding: “Neither candidate would fix racism in this country.”

Saturday 11/19 - After several turbulent weeks of publicly fighting, Kanye reunited with frequent collaborator Kid Cudi for a concert in Sacramento. After three songs, the concert was abruptly stopped and concluded with another more jumbled out lash of a rant. The show was less than 25 minutes.

Sunday 11/20 - Kanye inexplicably flooded his Instagram with grainy photos from a vintage Margiela lookbook, making posts minutes (or sometimes seconds) apart. By the end of the night, Kanye announced that he was canceling the remainder of the concert dates on his tour and issuing refunds to ticket holders (including Saturday’s botched show).

I started this post at 9:23 AM on Monday the 21st. It is now 1:20 AM on Tuesday, and within the last few hours Kanye West was taken to the UCLA Medical Center and hospitalized “for his own health and safety.”

Kanye is surrounded by stress. Kim Kardashian’s robbery in October made the possibility of losing his wife a frightening reality. His recent fights with close friends Kid Cudi and Jay-Z have worn on him. The pressure from constant touring and travel has cracked his surface. He’s sleep deprived, exhausted, and had literal public breakdowns within the last 48 hours.

I started writing this before his admission to the hospital, and I still see people making jokes about the recent news online, all because the media told them it was okay and South Park gave them ammunition 7 years ago.

Kanye West is publicly dealing with mental health issues, and for a country that claims to care about that issue any time there’s a hot new shooting, America sure seems content to sit back and write this off “because it’s Kanye.” Because people only seen the bad stuff they assume he’s a thuggish, rude, arrogant asshole. He may be some of those things, but he’s also more than that.

Personal history aside, he’s made some of the best music of the past decade. He’s set trends in music, fashion, and culture that are unparalleled by any nearly any artist outside of The Beatles. His art is beautiful, and it lights a flame in me that I rarely feel at any other time. It’s what pulled me up and inspired me to write this post. It’s what’s keeping me awake long after I should have gone to sleep. It’s what gives me a great swelling sensation that inspires me to create.

But my point is that Kanye is a person. Because of how the media, the internet, and popular culture work, he’s often painted in an unfair light. He’s dealing with real issues (especially right now) and he deserves a little compassion. It’s the least you could give. I’m not asking you to pray for him, or buy his discography, or even stop making fun of him. God know’s I’ll be right there creating memes with the rest of the fans when this is all over, but now’s not the time. This is a genuine issue of mental health, and in all this darkness, I’d love it if we as a culture could respect that. Kanye brings so much light and beauty into this world, I’d love it if just one person understood that after reading this.

West’s semi-recent outburst on Ellen is indicative of his recent behavior. In the midst of this year’s #OscarsSoWhite controversy West threw himself into a typically-off-script diatribe about a variety of topics ranging from race to the media. Though he doesn’t say it well, the 8-minute video is filled with some valid points, even if they are scatterbrained as fuck.

At 3:01 in the video, a particularly sentient Kanye addresses the in-studio audience directly:

“You know, people never write: ‘Kanye’s pissing everybody off.’ They try to position that through the media in some way that I’m like —- whatever. Whatever your friends might say. You know – ‘I saw Kanye.’ ‘How was he? Did he … (do anything crazy)?’

I care about people. I care about – My dad lived in homeless shelters less than five years ago. My mom was the first black female chair of the English department at Chicago State University. I was raised to do something, to make a difference.”

He soon went on to discuss the human race as a whole:

“We got 100 years here. We’re one race, the human race, one civilization. We’re a blip in the existence of the universe, and we constantly try to pull each other down. Not doing things to help each other. That’s my point. I’m shaking talking about it. I know it’s daytime TV, but I feel I can make a difference while I’m here. I feel that I can make things better through my skill set. Through my skills – I’m an artist.”

He’s literally pleading with the audience to hear his words. The Ellen crowd are women who know Kanye primarily through the above-mentioned controversies and People Magazine covers that solely discuss how bad of a father he is. He’s talking directly to that audience and asking them to place that put all that aside for a second and listen.

Soon after that quote, he goes on to earnestly talk about how he wants to lower the cost of his shoes so they’re more accessible to kids in inner-cities. Not for money, but because he wants to end bullying. Because where he’s from having a shitty pair of shoes is an indicator that you’re poor, and that’s good enough reason as any to beat the shit out of somebody. Sentiments like that are sprinkled throughout the video, yet every media site on the internet wrote this up as “Kanye West Goes Crazy on Ellen” and ran with the big takeaway quote “sorry for the realness daytime TV.” It’s frustrating to watch a clip like that (in which he’s trying so hard) be met with cries of “crazy!”

Kanye has a huge ego. Kanye is controversial. Kanye says things off-cuff and can hardly get a coherent thought out when he’s worked up enough. That’s all true. Does that make him an asshole?

As I write this, Kanye is sitting in a hospital in LA after being rushed there for medical treatment. The legacy he leaves will be monumental, but I’m worried that too many people won’t see that until he’s gone. All I’m asking is to be subjective. Listen to him. He may be hard to understand but listen. Give him a fair shot because there are two sides to every story, and more often than not, the negative one is the side that ends up being printed.

Let’s make efforts towards destigmatizing mental health. Let’s help each other and listen.

Kanye is a husband and a father.

Kanye loves God.

Kanye loves his mom.

Kanye is a person and he fucks up.

Give him a break.

Shame, Shame, Shame

I’m going to pretend for a moment that I have dedicated readers or a following of any sort on here and say that I’m sorry. While I adored my last Taylor Swift-related post I didn’t mean for it to be my last. I never meant to take a month-long break, but it just sort of happened.

I’ve been working on a bunch of cool projects (which are all in various stages of completion) and working a freelance gig while I search for a job (all while still working my old retail gig on the weekends.) It’s a lot, to say the least, and I feel bad that this blog has fallen by the wayside.

I’ve got about 20 half-written articles and posts that I’m really stoked on, but I just haven’t found the time to carry them across the finish line. Some of them are now horribly outdated (song of the summer anyone?) but I’m still going to make an effort to post here more regularly, especially with the holidays upon us and all the traditions that brings.

So if you care, sorry. I’m still here cooking up cool stuff and writing a lot, but just not as much on this blog. I will have some stuff soon, but at this point, it’s more about time than anything else.

Love ya

Taylor Swift, Musical Expectations, and Pre-workout Traditions

I’m a fucking weirdo. This blog (for better or worse) is a place for me to dissect my taste and the bizarre associations that my mind has created over 23 years. This particular post covers a quirk so weird that I can just say it straight-faced and it will be hilarious: I listen to Taylor Swift before I hit the gym. Yup.

As previously discussed, I am a creature of habit, and now Taylor Swift is as seasonal as pumpkin pie. What initially started as a morbidly ironic interest slowly morphed into genuine love which has now mutated into a nostalgic tradition that I’m as embarrassed by as I am perplexed. A second recurring theme I’m discovering through writing here is me thinking that I’m too cool or hardcore for whatever is currently popular. I first heard of Taylor Swift in 2009 as “Love Story” was capturing the hearts and minds of teenage girls and emotionally-stunned women across the nation. I dismissed the song as pop trash, shook my head and went back to whatever inaccessible metal I was listening to at the time.

Aside from my unwavering dismissal of all pop music during this period, I also disliked the fact that this particular song lived in such a gray area between pop and country. It was a milquetoast bastardization of two genres that I actively hated. Why I wasted so much mental energy on this type of negativity is beyond me, but I’ll retroactively chalk it up to aimless teenage frustration. What I didn’t know in 2012 was that Taylor Swift’s Red represented her first direct movement towards pure pop music and away from her country(ish) roots.

I, like the rest of the general populace, was first exposed to Swift’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” in the fall of 2012 as the song rapidly reached saturation point. I first heard the track through the hilarious Who Charted Podcast in which two comedians discuss the most popular music and movies of the past week. As the hosts ramped up to throw to the song my skin started to crawl. I knew what was coming, and I knew I wasn’t going to like it. I braced myself for the worst… then the song started. I loved it. I went in with my cochlear-guard up and ended up being disarmed by the song almost immediately.

At the end of the day, Taylor Swift is just pop music. Her job is to make something catchy that’s inoffensive and immediately appealing. So why did I like this when I was so against her music before? I think it all came down to expectations. Time and time again I’ve been disappointed by albums that I’ve mentally hyped up for months. I’ve also ended up absolutely adoring releases that I’ve gone into expecting way less after seeing negative reactions online. It just goes to show how much preconceived ideas, negativity, and the Internet in general can infect art. On one hand, it’s hard to not have expectations about something you’re looking forward to, but on the other hand, if your bar is too low or too high you risk being way off base and coming out disappointed.

At any rate, I went into this Taylor Swift song expecting a shiny plate of pop dog shit but ended up becoming absolutely hooked. The crisp opening note made me perk up. The half-reversed guitar riff made me listen even harder. Then Swift entered delivering a saccharine (but biting) line in a half-sung valley girl voice. Behind all this, a steady drum beat was carrying the song forward with an unstoppable momentum. A bouncy bass enters just before Swift sings the pre-chorus, and then the beat explodes as the song’s soaring chorus begins. After the second sarcasm-laden verse about her indie music elitist ex-boyfriend, the second chorus starts, and everything comes together instrumentally as Swift belts the title of the song out at the top of her lungs. By the third chorus, a subtle banjo enters the mix and Swift’s double tracked vocals begin interacting with each other while still echoing the same sentiment. “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” is a near-perfect shining example of the euphoric highs that pop music can achieve. Beyond that, it’s also a middle finger pointed directly at shitty exes, hopeless relationships, and pointless fights. It’s cathartic.

Later on in the same year, Swift released “I Knew You Were Trouble” as a follow-up single, and (it’s embarrassing to say, but) that song completely dismantled any other remaining reservations I had about Swift and pop music in general. It’s a very “2012 song” in that it’s loosely dubstep influenced with a wavy electronic sound and a beat drop near the end of the chorus. But this is the song that made me realize pop didn’t have to be (and couldn’t be) placed in the box that I’d previously created in my head. I’ve already discussed my love for 2006 pop music, but Taylor Swift (combined with the frank pop music discussion on Who Charted) gave me a newfound appreciation for the genre. Up until this point, pop music had never been something I’d actively searched out, but Swift single-handedly changed that.

I’m not quite sure how it first started, but one day I just happened to be listening to “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” on the way to the gym and discovered that I had subconsciously memorized every word. Whoops. The only time I felt comfortable flexing this embarrassingly extensive knowledge was in the privacy of my car. I could sing. I could sing as loud as I wanted and let muscle memory carry me and my car towards the gym. Immediately after, I followed that song up with Weezer’s “El Scorcho” presumably to check that my previous musical taste remained intact.

From there I simply reinforced my own tradition. I listened to “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” chased with “El Scorcho” for weeks upon weeks. Aside from knowing all the words to both songs, something about the (not-so-subtle) middle finger Swift was pointing towards her ex in that song drove me. The song was bouncy and light enough to pump me up, but still bitter and resentful enough to motivate me.

I’d start to interchange “Back Together” with “Trouble” after a few months, but I ended up burning myself out on both songs sometime around the beginning of 2013. I moved onto other songs because I realized it was actually helpful to make a song or two my pre-gym soundtrack since it got me into an irreversible mindset that could only be satiated by hours of cardio.

But from that point on I paid attention to Swift. Her fifth album and full-pop crossover 1989, her collaboration with Kendrick Lamar, Ryan Adam’s unironic cover of 1989, and Father John Misty’s (wholly ironic) Lou Reed covers all made their way onto a dark (but happy) pop corner of my phone. Swift has since gone on to reveal herself as the pop-music equivalent of the popular girl who acts nice in person then talks shit behind your back. This recent feud with Kanye West and camp Kardashian combined with her breadcrumb trail of exes and her feuds with other pop artists all seem to confirm the hypothesis that Swift is a snake and a liar who is likely playing the “America’s Sweetheart” card for album sales… but sometimes you have to separate an artist from their art.

I’m a fan of Swift because she’s made some incredibly catchy and well-produced pop songs. When you say “pop music” in 2016, it’s likely that 9/10 people would say “Taylor Swift” and I think that is motherfucking impressive. The two songs that sparked this, (like many others) are irrevocably tied to the fall/winter season and now serve as massive heaps of nostalgia fuel for me. I’ll still bust out that old pre-workout playlist to get me pumped up every fall, and Swift has become another in a long list of fucking weird bizarre traditions I’ve created for myself that make zero sense on their own. Whether a thirteen-year-old boy obsessively watching VH1, or a 20-something singing Taylor Swift to his steering wheel on the way to the gym, I’m a fucking weirdo. But hey, Taylor Swift: thanks for all the burned calories.