Emperor X – Unified Field | Album Review

Bar / None

Emperor X, real name Chad Matheny, is an incredible example of how algorithms fail us. Look anywhere in his discography and be amazed. Uncategorizable, extremely versatile, massively talented, and underplayed. Seriously, you could pick any work from his Bandcamp and be treated to a completely new idea that doubles as a masterclass in DIY music. Until today’s release, my favorite work of Emperor X was his EP on transportation infrastructure improvements, although his 10,000-Year Earworm to Discourage Settlement Near Nuclear Waste Repositories was a strong runner-up. If we all lived our lives half as intentionally as this guy does, we very seriously might solve our problems.

In addition to being a long-time musician in the indie-punk-emo-DIY scene, Matheney is an accomplished producer and oversees a jazz club in Berlin. Earlier this year, he produced Brian Sella’s debut solo album (reviewed right here by yours truly), and both bands hit a five-date run of shows together in March. The two originally toured together way back in 2013, laying the groundwork for this rekindling over a decade later. In one final tidbit, when Emperor X and Sella announced their respective albums, they dropped their first singles on the same day. On both LPs, you hear fully actualized artists wielding years of sharpened talent and percolated thought.

Unified Field is devastating, exhilarating, and ultimately hopeful. The majority of the album was written and recorded in Ukraine, spurred by what Emperor X calls an “aesthetic emergency.” In the release announcement, he explains, “I had a strong instinct that the record would come out better, and be more meaningful, if I did it with my friends who also lived their lives under fire.” It’s safe to say that instinct was correct. This album is one of Matheny’s most produced public-facing works and comes at a time when we need clear, strong voices in art and the world.

Before talking about the tracks, we’ve got to talk about the album title. Emperor X says the name “Unified Field” is a loose reference to David Lynch and Transcendental Meditation. It’s important to point out that the album is bookended by songs named “Unified Field” and “Also Unified Field.” In the first, Emperor X brings us into the scope of this work and in the chorus insists “in the unified field / materials collapse / into a unified field / materials collapse.” In the final song, we hear a portion of the opener, but without Emperor X. This last song is the world we leave behind, the echoes of our impact in life. 

Matheney uses “unified” in the sense of being globally connected, having a shared future on this planet, and eventually being reduced to the same raw materials. It took me a lot of listens to internalize why that’s important to the album, but ultimately it boils down to the pointlessness of conflict. Seriously, we are more technologically advanced than we’ve ever been before, more “productive” than at any time in human history, and more entertained than at any point in the past. And still, we fight, we militarize borders, and we underreact as we slip into more extreme climate change. To me, that’s what this album is about—that slip, that apathy, that impending destruction. More than that, it’s about the possibility to change, to rally together, and to encourage one another. All of that AND awesome instrumentation—what a bargain.

Photo by Carly Hoskins

When Lynch evoked the idea of a “unified field” in Twin Peaks, it was used to emphasize two things: one was the Greek idea of the muses—revelatory thoughts brought to individuals seemingly from nowhere and nothing, much like Dale Cooper’s sometimes ridiculous investigative methods. The other is the balance of light and dark. Lynch was told by a “scientist” that these concepts are intrinsically related to quantum fluctuations in a field permeating the universe, which anyone can reach through meditation courses at the low, low introductory price of $1,000. That “scientist” was Dr. Chris Hagelin, who, despite having serious mathematical proficiency and a legitimate work history, believes you can literally connect your mind to this field and influence the world by meditating. What Emperor X is singing about is something different. You can tell because the refrain “In the unified field / materials collapse” uses some language that doesn’t appear in Lynch’s public remarks. 

Right about here, I should mention I’m graduating with my Ph.D. in experimental particle physics this fall. In popular culture, when someone says “The Unified Field,” they’re typically referring to a theory of everything, i.e., a single equation that governs all fundamental particles. That’s what Transcendental Meditation is about: paying some bizarre company to teach you how to connect your mind to that equation. If you can’t tell from my tone, that equation doesn’t exist, and they’re using scientific language to grift. 

The idea of everything coming together is beautiful and has broad artistic license, but it is extremely difficult to test. If you want some more science background, you can check out my blog post here. The part of that artistic license that Emperor X is using is indistinguishability (unification) at high energy. At the end of “Feeling Nothing,” we get the line “hold my hand as we vaporize / feeling nothing.” This preoccupation with destruction and technology is interwoven with religion, responsibility, and citizenship throughout the album. Some examples include: being gifted a religious icon, burning a passport, staring at screens, mistaking radio signals for the voice of god, and on and on.

In the lead single “Praise Jesus! Hail Reagan!” Emperor X uses this fiery energy to call out the zealotry of pseudo-religious churchgoers who unthinkingly rebuke the teachings of their prophet in favor of Reagan’s beliefs. Improvements in technology, such as radio, television, and the internet, have made it easier to spread all kinds of messages, including propaganda. This has led to, among other types of grifters, televangelists running pay-for-salvation models of remote worship. Transcendental Meditation follows this same model, and the main message isn’t for anyone to actually do anything, because, as Emperor X sarcastically sings in an adapted worship song, “my feelings bear the weight of moral sanction / and that all we have to do / is praise Jesus, spread the gospel.”

An important component of Emperor X’s presentation is his sense of humor, found in the mocking guitars of “Ostrich Toss,” the premise of “Pissing with the Flashlight On,” and the browser game accompanying “Superbus.” I personally can’t get further than the WFMU stage, but I keep trying because I love the lo-fi instrumental version of the song that plays in the game. In the actual song, I’m like 90% sure the piano you hear at the end of Superbus is the exact same one used at the end of Well I Mean. Together with “Cybertruck,” these songs transition the album from religion into technology and the human cost of it all.

SCREENSHOT OF SUPERBUS GAMEPLAY

On “A Mouthful of Increasingly-Dangerous Substances,” we get drowned in two ways. First by ever-stronger toxins, and then by rising water levels. None of this should be easy to swallow, yet year after year, we let glaciers melt and sea levels rise. In some ways, climate change would be easier to deal with if it weren’t so gradual. If the water weren’t boiling so slowly, maybe more of us would try to hop out of the pot. 

Emperor X describes tracking this song while vacationing in the Netherlands: “In idle moments, I found myself imagining what creeping sea level rise in a country that has always been half underwater would bring, and I began to believe with both hope and nausea that humans would adapt. There will be chaos and death along the coastlines and in the floodplains, but also something like a new normal in the lucky places that were prepared with bikes, dykes, windmills, and power pylons that could absorb the impact of the rising brine.”  

The hope and nausea that Emperor X describes are evident across the whole album. It’s difficult to see how bad climate change has already gotten and to know how much worse it will get if nothing changes. But what do you do with this knowledge? Who do you turn to? How do you put this anger into something that makes the world better? The rising lake in this song connects very neatly to the stock market in the following track, because market output is currently directly connected to global warming (thank you, industrial revolution and data centers).

Photo by Akhil Kodamanchili 

Line Go Up Line Go Down” is a biting, scathing, acid-boring critique of all of us, everyone. Everything in the world could fall apart tomorrow, and half of the American public would still try to go to the office. This track perfectly captures the public apathy at our own destruction, guided by the waxing and waning of the stock market. “To the middle of the Earth,” we will let business leaders destroy the world if it seems to be the will of the market. As a U.S. public, we are too polite. France whips our ass at protesting, and it’s because their government understands that its people hold the power, not corporations. We—you and I personally—need to shout as loud as Emperor X. This is the answer to the question asked in the previous song. We are not powerless, “not me, not her, and not you.”

Following up that political dirge with a palette cleanse, "Ostrich Toss” is my favorite track on the album. Silly as it may seem on first pass, if you pay attention to the dialogue, it’s not really lighthearted at all. The song starts with roommates bickering about climate change and has a really cute mocking guitar in the chorus: “If you’re so mad, what are you gonna do about it?” Among the roommates’ escalating aggressions, one brings an ostrich home, and the other throws it off the roof. A week later, we realize the ostrich is the main character, setting a car on fire and driving the two terrified roommates together. The best lines of the album are “THE THINGS YOU BUILD ARE USELESS / AND THE THINGS YOU BURN ARE GOOD / YOU PUT YOUR FAITH IN CONCRETE / WHEN THE WORLD IS MADE OF WOOD.” The all-caps come from the liner notes, giving the ostrich the voice of an almighty entity as opposed to an animal, because it’s a stand-in for Mother Nature. We talk about global warming as though it will end the world, but really, all it will end is human civilization. The Earth does not care whether you, I, or any society lives to see tomorrow, and one can easily view global warming as the Earth sweating out an infection. In the infinite complexity of the natural world, the ostrich says, “I CHOOSE NOT TO DESTROY YOU / I CAN SEE THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT / AND MY FORGIVENESS WILL ANNOY YOU / SO I FORGIVE YOU / FUCK YOU / FUCK YOU.”

This album makes me feel cataclysm and optimism. Despite this, I don’t hear any alarmism in Unified Field, just an honest artistic reaction to a heating world straining under “market forces.” There is as much global conflict today as there was during World War II. Part of this album is a relief valve for the frustration of waking up to new conflicts, new propaganda, and new lost futures. The other part is hope—the hope that we, as a species, are smart enough to read the past and predict the future. If we keep going like this, destruction is our future, but we have the choice for something else. And it is as simple as a choice. I’m not saying quit your job, abandon your family, or sell everything and find a bunker. I’m saying make a choice to do good in your community. The only control we have is in our communities, so you damn sure better be using it. Emperor X has been leading his own revolution for decades, and this album is an invitation to start yours.


Braden Allmond is a particle physicist and emo music enthusiast. He anticipates graduating from KSU in December with his Ph.D. in experimental high energy physics. When he isn’t writing his thesis, he’s data-scraping articles and books about emo music, making tables and graphs to interrogate and understand the genre.

Josaleigh Pollett – “Like a River” | Single Review

Audio Antihero

I was a wistful teenager in an era when being a wistful teenager all but required getting really into The Postal Service. During this time, I came to love the band’s story just as much as I did their sound, often fantasizing about the magic I might someday unlock working on music with a far-off collaborator. Then, I gave it a try. It was not magic. It was downloading a new version of Logic. It was receiving Sampler files with no sample. It was looking up how to roll back to an older version of Logic. It was, in short, excruciating. 

If nothing else, the experience left me with a deeper appreciation for artists who are able to excel while collaborating over long distances, which is one reason I’ve been very keen to hear Josaleigh Pollett’s new album, If I Let It Quiet. The record finds the Salt Lake City-based Pollett working with collaborator Jordan Watko under unfamiliar conditions, the pair now separated by a sea following Watko’s relocation to Japan. Though I doubt adapting to this situation came without growing pains, there aren’t any to be found on their newest single, “Like a River.” Pollett and Watko are perfectly in sync, with spaced-out synth percussion and swirling samples wrapping themselves around acoustic guitar and raw vocals in a sublime combination.

Because Pollett’s voice creates such a strong, engaging focal point, there’s plenty of room for the rest of the production to shift and play around without the song becoming disjointed. There are moments where the mostly clean lead vocal almost glitches to become part of the electric peripherals, but you always get snapped back out of the cyclone. The start of the fourth verse is particularly great, where one of the track’s more expansive soundscapes falls away to give us a pulsing bass rumble as Pollett sings the album’s title lyric, “If I let it quiet / Who am I if not my thinking?” It’s a mesmerizing moment, like having all the stage lights pulled save for one spotlight set on a masterfully delivered soliloquy.

These sectional shifts are perfectly timed and bring with them a sense of drama and gravity. All of it is impressive in its own right, but knowing that Pollett and Watkins were able to get on a wavelength like this while half the world away from each other is really incredible and only increases my anticipation to hear the rest of the record, due out this time next month.


Josh Ejnes is a writer and musician living in Chicago. He has a blog about cassette tapes called Tape Study that you can find here, and he also makes music under the name Cutaway Car.

Swim Team Summer Bev Check 2026

Beverages are one of life’s simple pleasures. No matter how down bad you are, you can always get a 99¢ Arizona from the store around the corner. No matter how much you wanna bail on the gig tonight, there’s always a sugar-free Red Bull to pick you up and help you power through. There’s champagne to celebrate, whisky to make you woozy, and Gatorade to help you recover from it all. The right drink can make a long shift at work a little less shitty or be the cherry on top of an already perfect day. 

We here at Swim are big fans of hydration in all its forms. I personally keep my 32-oz Nalgene filled and within arm’s reach, basically 80–90% of the time. I keep multiple flavors of seltzer on-deck and in my fridge at all times, and I have needlessly strong opinions on the best flavors of Red Bull, Monster, and Rockstar. I’m lucky that most of The Swim Team share similarly strong beliefs and passions about the world of snack and bev, because we gotta talk about something in between complaining about Spotify and trading indie music recommendations back and forth. 

To that end, the illustrious Swim Team has come together to whip up a summer bev check, aka a list of a dozen or so different drink recipes for you to try this season. We’ve paired each drink with a song that you can listen to as you sip for the optimal summer experience. You can find all the songs in this playlist right here. Happy listening and happy sipping, I hope you have a beautiful summer.


Cigarillo

Illustration by Amanda Deering

I have to shout out my buddy Tim from Pop Music Fever Dream for coming up with the name of this delicious bev. The humble Diet Coke is one of our most versatile beverages, to the point of transcending its status as a beverage—I believe this is why it’s been nicknamed the “fridge cigarette.” Add a bit of grenadine for some sweetness, dirty it up with the tequila of your choice, and you’ve got yourself a cigarillo, my friend. 

Ingredients

  • Ice

  • 1 oz tequilla 

  • Diet Coke (approximately 1 mini-can’s worth)

  • A splash of grenadine

  • A maraschino cherry, if ya nasty

For best results, pair with “Bartender” by Lana Del Rey (or more likely, the entirety of Norman Fucking Rockwell!)

– Grace Robins-Somerville


In Shirley’s Eyes

I stopped drinking a couple of years ago, and a Shirley Temple has become my drink I look forward to after a hot day in the sun. There is nothing better to sip while enjoying a hazy sunset with friends than this delightful syrupy concoction. 

Ingredients

  • Ice

  • Ginger ale

  • Grenadine 

  • As many cherries as you damn well please

For best results, pair with “Out of Step” by Minor Threat.

– Lillian Weber


The Uncle Tupelo

I’ve never been a smoker, but cigarettes legally do not count after four beers… Three if you’re petite. There’s something about bar-hopping in the summertime–feeling the stick of the air as you wade through a cloud of someone’s cigarette smoke on your way into your favorite dive. In four short beers, you’ll have a cloud of your own. A moment best shared with no more than two loved ones.

Ingredients

  • 1 whiff of someone smoking a cigarette on the patio as you enter the bar

  • 3–4 “Uncle” beers (Beers you see your uncle drink in the garage on Thanksgiving. Depending on your region, this could be Stag, Hamm’s, Old Style, or Lone Star. If necessary, PBR will do)

  • 1 Camel Blue (it has to be Camel Blue)

For best results, pair with “Chickamauga” by Uncle Tupelo.

– Caleb Doyle


Aunt Caroline’s Famous Down Home Old Fashioned Style Switchel

Well, gather ‘round y'all, and let Aunt Caroline pour you a nice tall glass of my world-famous switchel. Now, back before all you youngins drank lemonade, this is how us old timers would quench our thirst after bringing in the harvest on a sweltering summer day. I know I’m telling you to drink a beverage that contains a not-insignificant amount of vinegar and molasses, but I swear to god, it's delicious. Your great-aunt Caroline even made this for General Sherman and his men on their way down to Atlanta.

Ingredients

  • 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar

  • 4 teaspoons sweetener (Aunt Caroline only uses genuine black strap molasses, but you city folk can use honey, maple syrup, or sugar)

  • 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger or 1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger

  • 1 cup water

Combine all ingredients in a jar or glass and refrigerate for at least two hours, or overnight if possible. Strain if using fresh ginger. Serve over ice. 

For best results, pair with “John Brown’s Body” by Pete Seeger. 

– Caroline Liaupsin

The Dirty Palmer

Illustration by Amanda Deering

I’ve been known to fuck up some mini golf, but I’m not a golfer. If anything, I’m anti-golf; it’s a rich guy sport that monopolizes land, hoards water, and acts as a conduit for the worst people in the world to conduct shady backdoor business deals. All that said, I still have mad respect for Arnold Palmer. He has an impressive list of career accolades, but perhaps his greatest achievement is his signature beverage, a blend of lemonade and iced tea. You can buy it at any convenience store in this great country for 99¢, and that’s beautiful. If you throw a little booze in there, you have a beautiful concoction that pairs with any sunny summer activity, whether you’re day drinking by the pool, lazing in a hammock, or heading out for a night out on the town. 

Ingredients

  • Ice

  • 1–2 shots of Tito’s Vodka

  • Half a bottle of JOE TEA Half Lemonade Half Lemon Tea

  • A splash of plain seltzer (preferably Polar Original)

  • A slice of lime

  • A sativa joint (optional)

For best results, pair with “Dozen Roses” by Thomas Dollbaum.

– Taylor Grimes


2009 Four Loko

This summer, if you want to know the feeling of high-voltage electricity pulsating through your entire body, there’s only one solution… the FDA-banned version of Four Loko from 2009. It’s a drink so powerful that in just one night of consuming this toxic beverage, you could experience the highest of highs, like levitating in the middle of a crowded street, but it could also lead to you being helped on a gurney headed to your nearest CPR machine. The only hindrance you might incur is the time travel part, but where there’s a will, there’s a way. I’m sure with the correct equipment, that won’t be a problem for you.

Ingredients

  • 1981 DeLorean DMC

  • Flux Capacitor

  • Liquid Nitrate

  • CPR Machine 

For best results, pair with “Sikamikanico” by Red Hot Chili Peppers.

– David Williams


The Nancy

The Little Apple – Manhattan, Kansas – is situated at the edge of the Flint Hills, has one of the top agricultural universities in the country, and provides (almost) all of the fixin’s of the big city with all of the charm of a small town. The best part of this little city is easily Aggieville, a short drag of college bars, where you can find the “Nancy” offered year-round at Rock-A Belly Deli, Taco Lucha, and So Long Saloon. Always available, always refreshing, and—most importantly—always cheap. 

Ingredients

  • 20 oz plastic diner cup

  • 50% cheap light beer (Old Milwaukee is traditional)

  • 50% canned pineapple juice

Variations include: Pirate Nancy (add 1 oz rum), Dirty Nancy (1 oz vodka), Whiskey Tango Nancy (1 oz whiskey), Fancy Nancy (1 oz Crown), or, if you dare, a Long Island Nancy.

For best results, pair with “Hey Jealousy” by The Gin Blossoms or this cover by The Ergs.

– Braden Allmond


The (Extra) Dirty Beertini

Illustration by Amanda Deering

Much like the average yacht rock tune, a Beertini can be appropriately enjoyed at both your local dive bar or any country club wedding reception. This Midwestern concoction is what it feels like to indulge in simplicity. You can adjust the brine to your liking, but I prefer mine extra dirty. The adventurous yacht-rocker might even try subbing olive juice out for pickle juice. No matter your preference, there’s a beer-brine combination out there for everyone, so go experiment and then kick back this summer with your very own Beertini.

Ingredients

  • Your favorite light beer

  • A splash of olive brine

  • Garnish with olives or a pickle spear

For best results, pair with “What a Fool Believes” by The Doobie Brothers, or your yacht rock artist of choice.

– Annie Watson


Change of Address

Illustration by Amanda Deering

I am the lightest of lightweights and therefore appreciate a satisfying mocktail. The unusual and intriguingly delicious Change of Address is my favorite mocktail of all time; both simple and impressive. It’s a great twist on plain cola with a solid balance of sweet, spice, and umami. This specific recipe is by Eric Nelson, sourced from the wonderful cookbook Good Drinks by Julia Bainbridge.

Ingredients

  • 0.75 oz fresh lemon juice

  • 0.75 oz maple syrup

  • 1 tsp soy sauce

  • 3 oz Coca-Cola (or any cola really – I like the Vintage Cola Olipop)

  • Freshly grated cinnamon, for garnish

Combine the lemon juice, maple syrup, and soy sauce in a cocktail shaker. Fill with ice, seal the shaker, and shake for about 3 seconds to combine. Add the Coca-Cola, then double-strain into a Collins glass filled with crushed ice. To serve, grate cinnamon over the top.

For best results, pair with “What Is Left To Say (ft. The Lemon Twigs)” by Thundercat and a really good cheeseburger.

– Britta Joseph


Sun Tea 

Illustration by Amanda Deering

The one constant in my childhood was a huge glass jar on the porch, filled with Lipton tea bags and tap water, brewing in the afternoon sun. Sun tea (or porch tea, as my mom called it) is a Southern staple– easy to make and hits harder than a freight train on a hot summer day. 

Ingredients

  • 1–2 quart glass container with a tight lid (no plastic, I’ve seen it melt, I swear) 

  • 4–6 Lipton tea bags (you could probably use better tea here, but it’s rough out here)

  • Water

  • Ice

  • Sugar, honey, or a simple syrup, if you need a lil sweetness in your life 

For best results, let it steep for 3–5 hours, but no longer to avoid any bacteria growth. And refrigerate immediately! 

Pair it with some John Fahey, Bill Callahan, or whatever artist makes you feel like you and the sun are taking a well-deserved break together after a long, sunny day.  

– Nickolas Sackett 


Emerald Effervescence 

Illustration by Amanda Deering

Despite my affinity for the alcoholic libation, I’m tapping in to help round out the n/a squad for my summer refresher. I recently started working at a coffee shop again, and nothing is keeping me functional during my humid industry shifts like the matcha tonic. Matcha has had quite the uptick in popularity in recent years and, while mainly accompanying one’s milk of choice or dusting whatever the hot confectionery craze currently is, there’s something about the light, bubbly, sharp combination of matcha and tonic that I cannot get enough of whenever I’m looking to cool down while I caffeinate. 

Ingredients:

  • 3g matcha + 2 oz boiling water

  • 20–30 g syrup of your choice

  • Lemonade (optional) 

  • Tonic of choice (Fever-Tree or craft preferred)

  • Crushed or nugget ice

Add your syrup to your vessel of choice – I’ve been using the homemade grenadine we have at my coffee shop, and it’s next level. Fill your chosen vessel with ice and tonic (maybe a little lemonade if you’re looking to add even more depth), while making sure to give enough room for your matcha on top. Whisk your matcha and water together until light and frothy with the traditional bamboo whisk, automatic frother, or whatever gets the job done, then top off the concoction. Appreciate the layers you’ve created, take a couple pictures for posterity, and give the beverage a gentle, purposeful stir to incorporate the layers. 

Best enjoyed with “Quench (ft. pulses.)” by Cheem or any unapologetically fun and snappy song that makes you feel like a kid on a hot summer day again. 

– Ciara Rhiannon


Mai Tai

Here is the grand imposter of the cocktail world. A drink so simple, so perfect, that the trash tiki forces that be can’t help but add a whole host of fuck-it-up ingredients. If it’s blue, it ain’t a Mai Tai. If there’s pineapple juice, it ain’t a Mai Tai. If there’s grenadine, then pack it up and go home. Basically, it’s a rum margarita with orgeat, an almondish syrup that elevates this drink to the sublime. The initial concept behind tiki was to create a vacation experience for the post-war patrons of the 50s who couldn’t afford to fly to Fiji. For your purposes, ditch the queasy Polynesian exoticism and make this drink when you need a little escape. 

Ingredients

  • 2 oz rum (I prefer a funky & strong Jamaican rum like Smith & Cross)

  • ½ oz orange curacao

  • ¾ oz freshly-squeezed lime juice

  • ¼ oz orgeat (I will allow you to sub amaretto if you can’t find it)

  • ½ oz simple syrup

Shake with cubed ice, strain, and pour over crushed ice; garnish with mint. 

For best results, pair with “Miami - Live at Café Carlyle” by Hamilton Leithauser (covering Randy Newman)

– Joshua Sullivan


Something Similar

Illustration by Amanda Deering

A cocktail as prickly as the song it’s based on, Something Similar seeks to take the familiar tastes of the New York Sour and distort them until there’s something both unexpected and surprisingly familiar, much like the music of The Mercury Tree, who take the trappings of math rock, post-metal and progressive metal, mix them with microtonality, and spit them out as something a little weird, but undeniably delightful. The color of the Empress gin and red wine float reflect the colors of the album art for Self Similar, the record “Dreamwalking” is taken from.

Ingredients

  • 2 oz Empress gin

  • 1 oz lemon juice

  • ½ oz prickly pear syrup

  • ½ oz tamarind syrup

  • Shake with ice

  • Pour over a rock

  • Float dry red wine

For best results, pair with “Dreamwalking” by The Mercury Tree.

– Noëlle and Yael Midnight


The Breakfast Red Bull

Have a Red Bull for breakfast. Certainly you won’t regret drinking an entire Red Bull for breakfast.

Ingredients

  • 1 can of Red Bull (any size, any flavor)

  • Crippling debt

  • Planet Fitness Guest Pass

For best results, pair with “Fucking Hostile” by Pantera.

– Logan Archer Mounts


Aperol Spritz

Hey guys, I am pretty drunk in London right now and forgot about the deadline for this. Typing on my phone. So my drink is an Aperol Spritz. Ever heard of it? I have had three today, and they rock.  

Ingredients

  • ONE BIG GLASS

  • Ice

  • Fill half of that ice glass with Aperol. On the back of the Aperol bottle it tells you the recipe. That’s wrong, and I am right. 

  • Bad prosecco. It has to be bad. Fill like ¼ of the rest of the glass. 

  • Club soda. Fill the rest of the glass. I actually like Topo Chico the most here #hack. 

Listen to “Rock Music” by Charli xcx, the Queen of Aperol. Also, while I am on my soapbox, the drink of 2028 will be the Sarti Spritz. It’s coming to America, I promise. It’s hot pink. Okay, love you, bye.

– Caro Alt

Piebald – Tales for the Rages | Album Review

Iodine Recordings

Like most music fans, I’m equal parts fascinated and excited when a band I love reunites. The mind races imagining all the interactions and decisions that brought these individuals back to one another; you can’t help but wonder what the impetus was for this kind of reformation. Of course, the cynical answer is “money,” but the romantic side of me likes to imagine there’s something more profound at work; a sort of cosmic tether that keeps these people coming back to each other and creating art together. When it comes to Piebald, a punk band from Massachusetts who only ever, at most, enjoyed a modest hit on MTV and college radio in the early days of the aughts, you have to take money out of the equation. I say this with a heart full of love, but Piebald are not putting out their first album in nineteen years because it’s a goldmine. 

Luckily, Piebald have always been a band who tell it like it is; their decision to make “Still On The Couch” both the album’s lead single and opening track tells you everything you need to know right outta the gate. As the title suggests, things start from a place of complacency – fused to the refuge of the sofa either out of fear or an over-abundance of comfort. Given that this album was recorded, as the press material puts it, “slowly, honestly, and stubbornly over six years” from 2019 to 2025, it’s entirely possible that this is also meant to capture some of the home-stuck energy of the early pandemic years when we had nothing to do but be on the couch. Regardless of the exact intention, we’ve all felt that pull to remain unchallenged and unimpeded in the comfort of our safe space, and I think any healthy person knows how important it is to break out of that. 

“Still On The Couch” is a sub-two-minute rocker that expertly sets the stakes of the record, justifies its existence, and acts as an official re-introduction to Piebald’s brand of hyper-articulate punk rock. The group takes this lethargy we’re all prone to and convert it into an optimistic burst of energy that makes you want to fling your front door open and get out into the world. They accomplish this primarily through the track’s boppy road-ready riff, but it ends up feeling like an expert-level jujutsu move the way these four flip defeatist self-sabotage into something actionable and fun. When you put those two possible paths next to each other, the choice couldn’t be more clear. 

After forming in the mid ‘90s, Piebald released five awesome albums, a fuckton of splits and EPs, then put the band to rest via a Myspace bulletin if that helps you place us in time at all. Outside of some recent anniversary reissues and a jokey Christmas 7”, the band hadn’t put out anything official since 2007’s Accidental Gentlemen. Long intermission short, the band reunited in 2016 for a bunch of tours, and it sounds like they’ve been stockpiling scraps of ideas since then, slowly building these tracks up and nurturing them until they took the form of Tales for the Rages

The record’s second song and second single, “This Thing Is Old,” speaks to this gap most explicitly, addressing the elephant in the room: we’re all getting up there. As a band comprised mostly of 40-something-year-old dudes, Piebald’s primary audience isn’t too much younger. I personally got into Piebald at the tail-end of high school when Rise Records bound together all of the group’s early work and demos into a three-volume collection, and even I have grey in my beard at this point! I guess what I’m saying is that anyone still listening to (or making) this type of music at this age is here for one reason: because they fucking love it. 

While it might be tempting to write a song like “This Thing Is Old” and take a “woe is me, my body is falling apart” approach, lead singer Travis Shettel chooses to mark the passage of time in a more positive way through the books, records, shirts, and other meaningful art he’s exchanged with friends over the years. Rather than explicitly name these things in a cheap play for nostalgia, the lyrics keep things general, opting instead to point to the decades of friendship and connection that they represent. This is, obviously, immensely relatable to any punk past 30 whose shelves are lined with friends' CDs and closets are packed with band shirts that fit a little too tight. It’s a smart way to address the nearly two decades that have passed since we’ve last heard from Piebald, and it helps sketch out the life that has unfolded between records. 

The song’s second verse also bears the album’s title and, over the course of a few lines, transforms what could just be a blanket invitation to let loose and reminisce into a genuine mission statement that offers a justification for why Piebald and why now. In a syrupy-sweet voice, Shettel sings, “Telling stories as if they were alive / Worn grooves and pages / Epic tales for the rages.” Using this way in, Piebald continue to set the stakes and invite the listener to rise to the occasion with them. “The hardest person responds to the softest voice / We have obligations to future generations / We weren't made for these times / These times weren't made for us.” There’s your reunion rationale right there. 

Beyond contextualizing the record’s title, this song also features an emphatic guitar solo, a punchy chorus, and a puppet-centric music video. Everything consistently rocks, and as the band invites the listener to “feel the wind inside the heart,” it feels downright cynical to deny them that request. This thing may be old, but that doesn’t mean it’s decrepit, at least not yet. 

After two songs about the traps of lethargy, consumerism, and nostalgia, “Used to Good Advantage” offers the most blunt assessment of where we find ourselves in 2026. Here we join the band as they try to get to the bottom of what turns our neighbors from normal, empathetic humans into short-haired businessmen who only have slimy verbal gymnastics to offer. The thrust of the song finds Piebald articulating what it feels like to find out you’re the bad guy, or at least trapped as part of an evil machine that you never even signed up for. They turn this into a clear call to action with a set of the album’s most overt and uplifting lyrics:

If rules can be destroyed by truth
Then they should be
All power to the student, the worker, and those who aren’t free

This becomes a recurring theme throughout Tales for the Rages as the group talk openly and honestly about the plight of the working class. This isn’t necessarily new for Piebald (after all, their biggest song is a hooky plea for worker solidarity) but it feels more pointed than ever on Tales for the Rages. They may be musicians, but the members of Piebald are in this with the rest of us. They see the exceptionalism that leads to nationalism. They know what it’s like to be treading water financially, to live in a country where our taxes are used to murder, to be wary of cops and landlords and billionaires. The press material puts it beautifully: “They’re not giving a lecture, just trying to make sense of everything like everyone else, but with guitars.”

I’ve been talking a lot about the lyrics because, just like every other Piebald record, they’re presented front and center, but Instrumentally, this record sounds incredibly tight. Obviously, there are the aforementioned high-flying guitar theatrics from Shettel and Aaron Stuart, but there’s also Andrew Bonner and Lucian Garro, who sound incredible holding down the rhythm section. Together, their bass and drums give each song a natural center of gravity that the group can easily return to, but they also have lots of fun little breakdowns and flourishes they get to throw in the mix. It’s refreshing to hear such a shaggy combination of indie and emo rock. Each song feels distinct, with lots of little moments that will grab you, whether it’s a specific lyric or a fist-pump-worthy riff – which is exactly what every other Piebald record has felt like. It all comes across a bit Weezer-esque and at times, maybe a smidge of Saves The Day, but also feels like the clear older brother of groups like Michael Cera Palin. This is all catnip to a dude like me, and meant to be a compliment as much as a comparison. 

Even as Piebald hack their way through the world of abject poverty that capitalism breeds, they still manage to navigate these ideas in funny ways, whether it’s lines like “My retirement plan is dying in the class war” or actively undercutting the very thing they’re participating in. While music can sometimes feel like a mere frivolity in the face of our potentially dismal situation, it’s also a source of delight, catharsis, uplift, and community. Plus, it’s only a dismal situation if you resign it to that. The cover is accurate: these are bright and multicolored reflections culled from a world that tries its absolute damndest to sap the light and joy out of everything. It’s nice to see an album that believes in change, improvement, and betterment. After all, what’s the defeatism and cynicism going to get us besides defeated and cynical? 

Before you even reach the midpoint of the album, it becomes clear that Piebald got back together because they actually have something to say. While some of the lyrics can come across a little heavy-handed, it’s worth being explicit about where you stand, lest you be misconstrued as an impartial fence-sitter. It’s also so much more interesting than being non-descript. This all struck me in a similar way to the Algernon Cadwallader album from last year, in that both records come from super-celebrated decade-old scene staples who broke up but eventually came back, matured, hardened, and refined. In both cases, the bands managed to remain true to their original sound while also becoming more explicit and vocal about where they stand. Piebald have always been political and outspoken; it makes sense that they’d be even more so in 2026. 

In true Piebald-ain fashion, they also make these points in the funniest ways, with just enough pop culture references sprinkled throughout. In one track, they evoke LMFAO by singing with utter remorse, “Party rock just makes no sense right now…” One song later, they’re directly quoting Tupac, and a few tracks after that they’re name-dropping Voltaire. It takes all kinds.

Tales for the Rages is an album lovingly packed with meaning, motivation, and memories that Piebald not only proudly packages up and puts on display, but directly involves the listener in. There are so many quotable lyrics, bits of genuinely good advice, and catchy-fun choruses scattered throughout this record. The final kick in the pants comes at the end in the form of a poignant 40-second song that feels so beautifully Piebald and is too good to spoil by quoting here. 

As many music fans have learned time and time again, just because your favorite band is reuniting doesn’t mean it’s going to be good. In the case of Piebald, some combination of time away, years of creative percolation, and good old-fashioned friendship seems to have resulted in the perfect conditions for another great record. While some artists participate in the rat race of dropping an album every year or two so they can tour, Piebald appear to recognize the sanctity of the creative process and are opting to be as thoughtful as possible. 

I look at this band and see an inspiring model for how to move forward. I’m only in my early thirties (turning 33 next week, thank you very much!) and so many weird, fucked up things have already started happening to my body. I’m scared to think of how they could compound with time, and I’m doing everything I can to combat that decay. Some of that is physical, but over the last few years I have also come to realize how much of it is mental, too. It’s so important to have friends and riffs and actual perspectives about things going on in the world. It’s important to voice those things so people know you’re standing with them. After all, isn’t that why so many of us started going to shows or getting involved in our local scenes? To be a part of something bigger and find other people that feel like “our kind of people”? Tales for the Rages proves that journey is a lifelong process, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

A MILLI

That’s right, with this post, Swim Into The Sound has officially hit one million words published! That’s one million words just on the main feed, so not counting Swim Selects, playlists, photography, or anything else. It’s also worth noting that Google Docs counts hyphenated phrases like “post-hardcore” as one word, not two, and knowing how much we hyphenate the shit out of stuff, we very well could have hit a million a while back. 

Even still, I wanted to take a break from our regularly scheduled emoposting to commemorate this gargantuan milestone. This happens to be coming at a good time, as we’re also coming up on 600 posts and Swim Into The Sound’s eleventh birthday in June. Truth be told, I was hoping those things would overlap more, but we’ve been (expectedly) verbose, so I’m not surprised we reached this million milestone a little early. 

If you are curious to see this website's word count over time, take a look at this plot from one of our resident data enthusiasts, Braden Allmond.

You may notice that flatline at the beginning. This is a stretch I’d like to refer to as “The Great False Start of Swim Into The Sound.” 

Those of you in the know might remember our big-ass Tenth Anniversary Bash from last June. In that article, The Swim Team broke down our favorite albums from the ten-year window from when this site started on June 13th, 2015, to the date the article was published on June 13th, 2025. Goofy premise, but it resulted in an incredible list of really important and fun records. 

That June 13th start date essentially comes from the day I published a review of Mogwai’s Come On Die Young to Tumblr. That’s how the site started, and I’m simultaneously proud of and embarrassed by that fact. Despite linking it above, I really don’t recommend that you go back and read that review. I would recommend you listen to that album, though. 

Back to the timeline at hand. 

Essentially, I spent a few days writing and editing that article, then shared it on June 13th. From that point, I proceeded to enjoy my Summer listening to Barter 6, DS2, and Donnie Trumpet. It was my last summer in college; what are ya gonna do? 

The following summer, I graduated, worked an internship, and found myself committing to picking this thing back up after leaving it dormant for a full calendar year. I view this as one of the most pivotal decisions of my life, and it’s something that was initially borne of strife as I navigated the post-college world for the first time. 

To this day, I remember someone, upon seeing my portfolio, asking me, “Sure you can write, but what do you care about?”

I spiraled out about that for an afternoon, went for a walk, treated myself to a 24-oz pour of an IPA at a pizza place near my old campus, and worked myself into an existential froth. I’d just spent the last four years focused on a business degree and building out a portfolio of copywriting for brands that I had no personal connection to. He was right: what do I care about?

After a little thinking and a few sips of beer, I realized that music is the thing I care about. It’s always been the thing. It was the thing when I was ripping CDs to my family laptop to fill my iPod Nano. It was the thing as a surly high schooler who was too cool for everything else. It was the thing all throughout college, and it will probably be the thing for the rest of my life. This is just the way my brain works. 

At that moment, I decided to commit to Swim Into The Sound as something I did — a living entity that also served as an articulation of my fandom and obsession. Here’s that same timeline showing just the days between posts. It’s obvious to see this one-year incubation between the site’s first post and me truly committing to it. 

Okay, time to put aside the fun graphs and move on to the posts that made us a millionaire

In brainstorming how to celebrate this million-word milestone, a braintrust of Braden, coder-artist Alex Couts, and data visualist Katie Hayes, we arrived at a timeline breaking down each article that pushed us into a new 100k. When we ran the data, this resulted in a pretty great crop of articles that also mirrors this site’s growth from one nerd yappin’ about emo to many talented writers following their intuition and covering the music we love. 

Please enjoy this miniature stroll back through the word count with an interactive timeline built by Alex with commentary by yours truly.


101,596 words

Universal Melodrama: Lorde and Medea
Grant Hillyer Febuary 25th, 2018

Funnily enough, the post that pushed us over our first 100k words was also this site's very first article from someone besides myself. Penned by Grant Hillyer, one of many lovely friends I met through the /r/indieheads subreddit, he had reached out to me sometime in the early days of 2018 asking if he could have the space to pontificate long-form about connections he was formulating between Lorde's sophomore album Melodrama and Medea, the ancient Greek tragedy by Euripides. This type of hyper-specific connection is exactly the kind of writing I had hoped to be putting out on Swim, and, up to this point, it had never even occurred to me that other people might want to write for this site. I gave him the thumbs up, and we worked together to craft the most compelling version of his argument. The result was this 3k-word piece that binds an ancient Greek play together with a pop album released over 2,000 years later. True nerd shit, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

202,442 words

Swim Into The Sound's 20 Favorite Albums of 2019
Taylor Grimes December 31st, 2019

New Year's Eve, I was really working on this one up to the eleventh hour, huh? Pretty solid list; some records here I still listen to regularly and a few that have fallen far out of rotation. Not to toot my own horn, but Morbid Stuff, Basking in the Glow, Super Enthusiast, Somewhere City, and It's Not Forever is an iron-clad Top 5 for an emo fool such as myself. Retroactively, both Greet Death and Mannequin Pussy should have both been way higher. Overall, a great crop of albums to cap off a really distinct phase of my life and, in a way, the world.

301,806 words

The Best of Febuary 2021
Taylor Grimes March 1st, 2021

Here, we have a 2021 articulation of me doing my own little “new notable release” lineup. Looking back half a decade later, Wild Pink's third album, A Billion Little Lights, absolutely remains a must-listen, especially if you find yourself on a road trip or anywhere else while driving serenely at 70+ miles an hour. For a more underrated pick, go check out Mister Goblin's Four People in an Elevator and One of Them Is the Devil , a beautiful, freaky little folk album from Sam Goblin where, yes, the opening track is devoted to recounting the 2010 M. Night Shyamalan film Devil.

400,665 words

I AM GOING TO TAKE THIS A LITTLE WHILE LONGER: 20 YEARS OF ALL HAIL WEST TEXAS
Grace Robins-Somerville February 19th, 2022

A beautiful and compelling retrospective from Grace as she looks back at her own history with the Goats and celebrates the two-decade anniversary of what is perhaps the most pivotal record in the band's discography, All Hail West Texas.

502,514 words

Fauxchella: The Only Music Festival That Matters - An Interview with Conor Alan of The Summit Shack
Taylor Grimes April 18th, 2023

This one was a beast. The final article weighed in at around 8k words and wound up composing a pretty comprehensive timeline of the pivotal Ohio-based emo festival. This included lots of pictures, videos, flyers with lineup history, and deep-in-the-weeds fun facts from festival organizer Conor Alan. Overall, I had a blast chatting with him and weaving together the history of this festival, which has been a central nexus for so much of the emo world.

600,005 words

The Best of Q1 2024
The Swim Team April 1st, 2024

Oh brother, another album roundup? Before you pull me off the stage with a comically-sized hook, I'd implore you to note that this roundup comes courtesy of The Swim Team! To me, this reflects the ongoing democratization of this Swim Into The Sound as it evolved from one guy talking about albums he loves to many people talking about records they're enjoying. Looking back, there were a few records from this timeframe that wound up being some of my favorites of the year; shout-out to Glitterer, Gulfer, and Katie Crutchfield- love you, divas.

702,191 words

The Name of the Band Is Pop Music Fever Dream
Lillian Weber September 9th, 2024

An absolutely excellent and, at times, hysterical interview that Lillian Weber conducted with the New York no-wave band Pop Music Fever Dream. Great band, great music, knockout live show. Don't sleep on them or this interview.

800,400 words

Beauty Saloon - BS | Album Review
Logan Archer Mounts May 2nd, 2025

Here we have Logan's review of a record that soundtracked much of my hot, hazy spring-summer of 2025, Beauty Saloon's semi-eponymous BS. A really fun record that deserved to be in the conversation with the Florrys and MJ Lendermans of the world.

900,974 words

Smashing Pumpkins Misunderstood Madness of Machina: 25 Years Later
David Williams November 24th, 2025

Last up, we have a great retrospective piece that David Williams put together, contextualizing (and going to bat for) Smashing Pumpkins' messy, bloated, beautiful, complicated, high-concept fifth album, Machina/The Machines of God.


That brings us to 1,000,000. 

I truly owe a million thanks.
Thanks to anyone whose words have helped us reach this number.
Thanks to everyone who has encouraged me at any point in the last ten-plus years.
Thanks to anyone who’s read, shared, or connected with any of these million words.

I hope you enjoy it here.
No AI bullshit, no advertising, just a bunch of people writing about music they care about. Laboring over it. Meaning it. 
As it should be. 

Thank you, I love you, here’s to a few million more. 🥂