The Long & Winding End of the Road: How KISS Spent Four Years Saying Goodbye for the Second Time

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On March 1, 2023, the hard rock institution KISS announced they would perform just 50 concerts this year before turning in their iconic stage show for good. They’re celebrating a half-century as an active group and finishing up the last leg of their ‘End Of The Road’ world tour, which began in 2019. KISS’ final live performances, closing out the ‘Countdown’ leg, will be on December 1st & 2nd at Madison Square Garden on their home turf of New York City. But KISS getting to this point has not been particularly straightforward or well-received. The band has long had their critics from all angles, whether that’s being perceived as a joke band in makeup with bad music, the embodiment of satan, or just a rock and roll cash cow. Most recently, the fact that this is their second farewell tour (and that it has taken four years to complete) has left some fans tired out. Fifty years as a band isn’t something that gets to happen to everybody, though. To understand what it means for KISS to have hit that milestone, it’s crucial that we go all the way back to the beginning. 

January 30th, 1973. A small club in Queens, New York, called Popcorn, later renamed Coventry, is about to host the very first performances of the hottest band in the world. The lineup is as follows: George Criscuola, the “Catman” behind the drums known as Peter Criss. Stanley Eisen, the flamboyant “Starchild” frontman known as Paul Stanley. Paul Frehley on lead guitar, seemingly from another dimension that gave him his name, “Spaceman” Ace Frehley. And Chaim Witz, the decades-long, fire-breathing, blood-spitting “Demon” bassist known as Gene Simmons. Costumed and made up in a way that’s only reminiscent of how we’ve seen them in their peak periods, KISS play the first live chords of their career. “Deuce,” a Simmons-penned tune, opens the first and second sets of the night. This was the first, but certainly not the last time “Deuce” would make a KISS setlist.

November 30th, 2022. The second to last show of the ‘End Of The Road’ tour’s third year. The band takes the stage at Tokyo Dome, where they’ve been performing in Japan since 1997. Simmons takes the mic for “Deuce” once again. According to the concert archival website Setlist.fm, KISS has performed the tune 1,513 times since 1973. It is their ninth most-played song, only 21 plays behind the 1983 anthem “Lick It Up” in the number eight spot. If you know one thing about KISS, you may have already guessed the number one spot goes to “Rock And Roll All Nite,” which has garnered an impressive 2,145 plays since 1975.

Stanley introduces “Deuce” to the estimated 32,000 Tokyo natives, noting this is from the very first album, 1974’s KISS. But casual fans may not know that Criss and Frehley are no longer on stage with the band, despite archival footage being shown during the performance where they’re both featured. They left the band around the same time twice over, first in the early ‘80s when KISS’ success was at its lowest and the tensions were at their highest. Then, again after the original lineup reunion tours that lasted through the beginning of the 2000s. Donning the “Catman” and “Spaceman”  makeup at the Tokyo Dome are Eric Singer and Tommy Thayer, respectively, who make up half of the longest-running lineup in the band’s history.

As early as 2002, Singer and Thayer have caused controversy among the loud and proud KISS Army by adopting their predecessors’ personas. The characters that the original band created were meant to be reflections of their personalities, not just interchangeable identities. This is why, in 1980 and 1982, new drummer Eric Carr (born Paul Charles Caravello) and guitarist Vinnie Vincent (born Vincent John Cusano) created their own – the Fox and the Ankh Warrior – until the entire band left the makeup behind for 12 years in 1983. For me personally, I take no umbrage to Singer and Thayer in makeup for a couple of reasons. Firstly, they are essentially just doing a job. Don’t get me wrong, they’re both incredible players and do justice to the KISS brand; their interpretations of the “100,000 Years” and “Cold Gin” drum and guitar solos from 1975’s landmark Alive! album are played exceptionally to this day. To me it’s like James Bond or Doctor Who, albeit more of a long-form tenure that can evolve as necessary. But this leaves the conversation open for what happens after KISS ceases to exist as a touring unit.

Many people have speculated there will be a “KISS 2.0” in the future, with younger musicians wearing the makeup and keeping the music alive in venues across the world. This would be different from the millions of Beatles or Guns N’ Roses tribute acts in every town, as the original band members would still be involved. The rumor has been that KISS will audition and hire hopefuls themselves, putting the official stamp of approval on whoever is out on that stage. In the same way that new casts come and go in Broadway musicals, KISS might be the first rock group to achieve that feat – touring classic rock lineups with zero original members notwithstanding. So while it may be the ‘End Of The Road’ for KISS themselves this year, it may be the start of a new road for some up-and-coming rockstars.

Secondly, if these guys didn’t come in to back up Simmons and Stanley, I might not have seen the six KISS concerts I’ve been lucky enough to attend. If all the personnel lore erupted after 2002, and that was truly KISS’ final farewell, there would be no opportunities for me to experience “the Hottest show on Earth” in my formative years. Thankfully, I’ve had six of them up to this point, five of them on the ‘End Of The Road’ tour, and potentially two more in the ‘Countdown’ leg.

September 19th, 2018. After performing on America’s Got Talent, KISS officially announced the tour would begin in February of the following year (they circled back to a big-broadcast breaking news stunt with Howard Stern to promote this final 2023 leg). They promised to “play every city they’ve ever played one more time,” and “once we hit yours, that’s it.” Most rock fans and critics alike know how these promises go. Despite the tour’s length, KISS did pull off not repeating any specific venues, except for a few locations where they held two-night residencies. But by the time the ‘Countdown’ leg is over this year, there will have been some crossover as they’ve already played MSG in New York and Centre Bell in Montreal, among others.

During a performance at their yearly KISS Kruise in November 2019, they announced the final show would take place on July 17, 2021. So you factor in an entire planet’s worth of cities to attend, with some breaks in between, a little over two years sounds like a respectable timeline for a farewell tour. On March 10th, 2020, KISS performed their last concert before the lockdown in Lubbock, Texas.

KISS spent the height of the pandemic like any reasonable and responsible group of industry professionals: live-streaming their ‘End Of The Road’ stage show from Dubai. Somewhat cleverly titled “KISS 2020 Goodbye,” the concert featured a documentary about the band traveling to the United Arab Emirates during the pandemic and what it meant for them to be performing the concert. It was a decent performance that provided some respite from the outside world at that time. However, at the time of this publication, fans have still not received their merchandise packages from the concert. The band resumed touring in Mansfield, Massachusetts, on August 18th, 2021.

A sentiment amongst the KISS Army throughout all of this has been, “how can we miss you if you never go away?” Granted, the COVID-19 pandemic doubling the tour’s timeline was unexpected, but it also seemed there were way more shows on the books post-vaccine than pre-vaccine. These feelings may have affected the band’s cancellation of a Las Vegas residency in early 2022. The truth of the matter is, no matter how many times I see the same tour with the same songs with the same solos, I will miss KISS when they stop playing big shows. I won’t pretend that, even after the sometimes frustrating ‘Road’ we’ve been driving down, I didn’t get a little emotional once the ‘Countdown’ leg was revealed and set in stone. Even in repetition, it’s unlike any rock concert I’ve ever seen. The music is genuinely powerful, the guys are having a good time playing, and the crowd continues to lick it up after all these years. An important asterisk here lies the careful words of Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley, though: that KISS is ending as a touring unit. So the opportunities for one-offs are still on the table, theoretically. From an optics standpoint, I think it would be incredibly unfair to pull something like that.

And let’s not stray away from the fact that these two guys are now officially over 70 years old. As good shape as they’re in, they won’t be able to do this forever. In 2021, Paul Stanley’s longtime guitar tech Francis Stueber passed away during the tour from a COVID exposure. In an already brutal 2023, we’ve lost the likes of Jeff Beck, David Crosby, and Ozzy Osborne finally announced his potential retirement due to health concerns. KISS has no reason to push themselves. Lemmy Kilmister of Motörhead played his last show 17 days before he died. It is possible if he had taken a stage sabbatical earlier, there could have been another album or even a chance to announce a final tour. 

KISS has nothing to prove now that they’ve crossed the 50-year mark, which some fans speculate is the only reason the tour has gone on this long. They’ve made their place in rock and roll history, and it’s been well-deserved and diligently worked for over their five decades. The old adage “Stop while you’re ahead” could have applied to KISS in 1977, 1997, or even in 2009. I think we should treasure the last 50 years and be thankful it’s ending at an amicable conclusion, not a forced halt. You can rock and roll all night and party every day, but after five decades, it’s going to take a toll on you somehow. So to my favorite hard rock band on the planet, thanks for all that you’ve provided. But please, after December, stop while you’re ahead.

Logan Archer Mounts once almost got kicked out of Warped Tour for doing the Disturbed scream during a band’s acoustic set. He currently lives in Rolling Meadows, IL, but tells everyone he lives in Palatine.

Nagasaki Swim – Everything Grows | Album Review

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Excelsior Recordings

Is there a way to observe the passage of time that isn’t inherently sad? Nagasaki Swim, the Rotterdam-based project of songwriter Jasper Boogaard, sits with this question on their sophomore album Everything Grows. Guided by Boogaard’s ambitious yet steady hand, the new album leads Nagasaki Swim to powerful new heights, cementing their reputation as one of indie rock’s most promising new bands on either side of the Atlantic.

Everything Grows follows Nagasaki Swim’s dreamy 2021 release The Mirror, a record loaded with jams, showing a young band bursting with promise and energy. The band’s latest album features an all-star roster of collaborators; Molly Germer, who has worked with (and dated!) Alex G plays violin. Songs: Ohia veteran Mike Brenner, who has lent his talents to over 100 recordings in the music industry, also makes an appearance.

Nagasaki Swim’s sophomore record is a compact yet potent meditation on time and life transitions, and each song unpacks these themes in new ways. On the folky, country-inflected “American Dipper,” Boogaard sings “everyone wants the quickest way to love.” It is a beautiful and ludicrously infectious song. “Eternal,” the lead single from the album, is dreamy yet dynamic, a song that you reach for on a long drive, a song that makes you want to light out to the provinces.

These songs were followed by the more contemplative and downtempo “Window,” and the delicate interlude “Wait,” which is one of the most interesting pieces of music I have heard on an indie album in several years. It sounds like someone playing piano alone in a field, infused with nostalgia but gently resisting melancholy. Many of the tracks on this record are constructed to be steady and unwavering, providing a feeling of solidity against the album’s themes of uncertainty and transition. In “Wait,” the piano melody is allowed to stand on its own, unmoored from other instruments but not an isolated sonic texture. Despite the apparent loneliness, I take this piece of music more as a refuge of solitude and pleasant memories, an interesting departure from sad yearning typical of other music made about isolation.

The title song off Everything Grows immediately makes its case as one of indie rock’s great songs, balancing both depression and affirmation: “there is a fire in everyone,” Boogaard sings, before saying “leaving the old ways… doesn’t get easy.” With a comment on transience befitting Sufjan Stevens, the refrain becomes “everything goes, everything goes.” Much like “Wait,” the song closes the album with piano and birdsong, placing the listener out in the bewildering wild world.

This album got better and better the more I listened to it, and never lost its poignancy. As Townes Van Zandt said, time is a fast old train, she’s here and she’s gone and she won’t come again. To be human, perhaps, is to be troubled by time’s passage, to fret our hour upon the stage. How should we spend the brief moments we have on Earth? How to ensure that we waste the least amount of time? Should we quit our jobs, leave cities in droves, form anarchist communes in the Montana wilds? Everything Grows doesn’t answer this, exactly, but it suggests that time spent contemplating isn’t wasted.

When Everything Grows touches on melancholy, it refuses to be maudlin, gazing evenly at the great sadnesses and unknowns of being human. The album consistently explores these themes with sincerity and humility, it is tenderly melancholic and bittersweet: cough syrup encased in a hard sweet shell. We are left with the impression that perhaps the best way to watch time go is by fostering growth, moment by moment.

Elizabeth is a neuroscience researcher in Chicago. She writes about many things—art, the internet, apocalyptic thought, genetically modified mice—and makes electronic music in her spare time. She is from Northern Nevada. Find her on Twitter at @OneFeIISwoop.

Xiu Xiu – Ignore Grief | Album Review

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Polyvinyl Records

Whether one wishes to acknowledge it or not, grief touches us all. It can happen in an instant or years down the line when you least expect it, but it’s going to take you by the hand, or by the throat, and force you to confront life after loss. Grief is unbothered by time, plans, and ego and often materializes on a whim, silently informing our days. It’s subtle and abrasive, ambiguous and comprehensible, and painfully common. Your grief is not special. Your pain is not unique. Your suffering is universal. The heavy malaise that accompanies grief and how it rests on the spine of those it visits is palpable when listening to Xiu Xiu’s brooding and brilliant new album, Ignore Grief.

“You did this to yourself, is all they will choose to remember.”

If you’re familiar with Xiu Xiu, the landscape this album inhabits is not new, but the territory that is explored here is honed and focused in a way that feels fresh. It is at once exhilarating and truly unnerving. Previous albums like Angel Guts: Red Classroom and Girl with Basket of Fruit come to mind when reaching for touchstone comparisons. Both of those albums are dark, cacophonous, and confrontational in ways that keep most at arm’s length. Ignore Grief is no different at face value, but as the album unfolds, something feels darker, more sinister, and unrelenting. 

“Why do I happen to me?”

Xiu Xiu has always had a reputation for being shocking and pushing boundaries, whether that be lyrically or sonically. Their work has undoubtedly warranted those descriptors, but I’ve always struggled with any notion that it is shock for the sake of shock. It is unlikely that there are many passing or casual fans of the band, so the authenticity of the material should be evident at this point. Jamie Stewart has helmed this project for over 20 years and mined deep within himself (and the lives of others) to unearth and confront the macabre tales that we all wish did not exist yet we all experience. The fact that he’s still striking gold is both exciting as a fan of his art and heavy as a human, acknowledging that grief ripples forever. Always has and always will.

“You aren’t the first person to leave me stuffed in a trash can. I am not the first person you have stuffed in the trash.”

The opener, “The Real Chaos Cha Cha Cha,” sets the tone, quickly pulling us into what feels like a haunted house. I swear this track, the ending especially, evokes all the emotions that the film Skinamarink was trying to elicit and does so in a fraction of the time. (I’d like to note that this is not a dig on Skinamarink. I quite enjoyed that film.) Longtime band member and key collaborator Angela Seo takes the lead on vocals here for what I believe is the first time and does so for half the songs on the album. To say her contributions here are crucial is an understatement. The back-and-forth between Angela’s and Jamie’s vocals from track to track makes for such an absorbing experience. It creates a riveting energy that kept me engaged throughout my repeated listens. And that’s the kicker about this album. It’s horrific, bleak, and suffocating, yet I found it endlessly listenable. If that says more about me than the album, so be it. My grief-stricken being needed something like this. Hail Xiu Xiu for delivering.

“In my secret heart, torn asunder, I wonder why?”

Jamie sharing vocals is actually something the band has explored before. Their previous album, 2021’s OH NO, was comprised entirely of duets with people that Jamie credited for supporting him through an incredibly trying period of his life. Anglea was one of those people, and their track “Fuzz Gong Fight” is arguably my favorite track from the album. Listening back, it really previews just how well Ignore Grief is going to work, even if the focus and subject matter are vastly different between the albums. “This is a record of halves,” reads the opening of the album’s press notes. It goes on to detail how half the songs are an “attempt to turn the worst life has offered into some kind of desperate shape that does something, anything, other than grind and brutalize their hearts and memory within these stunningly horrendous experiences.” A noble effort, for sure. The other half is fiction, drawing from the tradition of old rock’n’roll “Teen Tragedy” songs. It all blends together in a hurricane of discomfort… But storms can be relaxing, right?

“A body that invites violence.”

Anglea also takes the reigns on the pulsing “Esquerita, Little Richard,” which repeats the album title over a disquieting beat before slowing down to a dreary synth line that draws to mind the feelings of the early work of Harmony Korine. The album truly feels cinematic, but that word doesn’t quite capture the whole picture. The cinema Ignore Grief strives for is more in line with the Dogme 95 guidelines, David Lynch, and found footage horror rather than the grand pageantry the descriptor typically evokes. At times, it feels like this record is something that shouldn’t be listened to. It’s raw. It’s bleak. It’s honest. It’s a pure expression of empathy only achieved through lived experience. There is understanding and a chance at peace in the sharing and admission of pain. There can be peace, but not without reckoning.

“So much pressure to feel joy or even say joy.”

The production on display here is pristine. The textures and layers of sounds continue to reveal themselves, and to call this Xiu Xiu’s “jazz” album wouldn’t be a stretch whatsoever. The brass and woodwinds shine whenever they're present, and are thankfully quite present throughout. Whether it be in the patience of “Tarsier, Tarsier, Tariser, Tarsier” or the frantic patterns of “Pahrump,” every instance scratches an itch. I’d be remiss not to note the percussion as well because Xiu Xiu is now a trio with Jamie and Angela enlisting David Kendrick (Sparks, Devo) to take over drums and percussion on the album. He’s a righteous fit, making himself a welcome addition to the freak rhythms and dark sonic soundscapes we’ve all come to appreciate from the band.

“A black hole is everything a star longs to be.”

The album closes with “For M,” an 8+ minute song sectioned into five parts that really encapsulates the breadth of the overall experience. It doesn’t get quite as pissed as a track like “Border Factory,” but consider it a true denouement. After everything the album drags you through, it still made me write, “Horrible - horrifying (Pt. III) - really unnerving” in my notes. That was all while drawing a complimentary comparison to the trudging pace and style of Bohren & der Club of Gore. There is so much to unpack and chew on. They’ve crafted one of their most urgent, moving, and present albums with Ignore Grief, and like the well of grief itself, the depths of this album will continue to be explored and discovered as time ticks on.

“What is your fondest wish?”

Xiu Xiu tapped into something with Ignore Grief, and it certainly tapped into me. When I speak of the universal nature of grief, I obviously speak from experience. We all have experience. I had a stroke when I was 24, and I lost my father the following year to a traumatic brain injury when a tram derailed and struck the vehicle he was in. These things, among many others, overwhelm and isolate me with their everpresent weight, but what I feel is not exclusive to my experience. My grief is not special. My pain is not unique. My suffering is universal. The heavy malaise that accompanies grief’s cyclical nature is palpable, and when it’s captured and presented in a way that proves there is understanding and proves there is life after loss, even through the constant strife that life piles on, that courage deserves recognition. Ignore grief all you want. It’ll be there when you’re ready.

Christian Perez is a member of the band Clot and is always trying his best to exist gently.

Hater's Delight – February 2023

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February kinda sucks. January may be the Monday of the year, but at least it represents the promise of a fresh start. I’ve found that February is usually the coldest, greyest, most miserable month of the year; the calendar equivalent of a big, slushy pile of days-old snow pushed to the back of a parking lot. Try as I might to be funny and cutting about the second month of the year, there’s no better coda to February than this video, so I’d recommend you just go watch that to get in the mood for this month’s edition of Hater’s Delight. 

If you’re just catching up with us, ​​Hater’s Delight is a micro-review column brought to you by Swim Into The Sound writers who want to vent about the things online and in music that have gotten under their skin over the past month. Each writer gets a paragraph or two to bitch about their chosen topic, then once we expel the Haterade from our systems, we all go back to loving music and enjoying art. Speaking of which, if you’re more in the mood for some positivity, here’s a playlist of all this month’s new releases that I enjoyed (or at least found notable) to help you keep up on everything that’s happened in February. 

Without further ado, here’s some hater shit. 

Pop Goes Punk

Right as the month began, Doja Cat revealed in an interview that she wants to make a transition into punk music. But not that soft “pop-punk” that Machine Gun Kelly and Olivia Rodrigo have been playing around with, the REAL “hardcore” stuff. Look, pop artists have been trying to go “punk” for years now with mixed results. Artists like Demi Lovato and Willow Smith have adopted the “dangerous” aesthetics of metal and punk music into their latest albums. There’s a crop of good songs amongst them all (yes, even the worldwide-hated, double-number-one-album-selling MGK has a couple of catchy ones), and I hope the best for Doja Cat if she means it. But at the end of the day, major label executives and A&R teams will skew the vision to ensure it turns a profit. Unless you’re recent Blink-182 support act Turnstile, that’s probably not going to happen. Still waiting patiently for the Charli XCX punk album, though.

Logan Archer Mounts – @VERTICALCOFFIN


The Internet and Hardcore Music

Probably prudent disclaimer– I am sorry. My tweet was bad.

Earlier this month, I tweeted a kind of mean thing about a hardcore band. This was shitty of me for various reasons, but I’m here to double down, not publish an apology. The truth is that the internet demands very little (at least in its current iteration) from artists– so long as a band caters to the aesthetic of a nebulous “scene” bound neither by genre or geography, the unwashed masses with their bad tattoos and patchy goatees can rest easy knowing that they are enjoying “the next big thing in hardcore/emo/punk/etc.” My recent brush with the hardcore scene proves their shallow digs at me (poser, unwelcome, rookie, tourist) more accurately describe themselves. Their music is neutered, their stage presence is listless, and their dance moves are ripped from Bruce Lee movies. Their politics are aimlessly liberal and center far more around retweets than rehabilitation when it comes to such nuanced issues as “community policing and accountability.” No matter how many cops in dress-punk streetwear you cram onstage with Marshall stacks, you’ll never be half as hardcore as that time back in New York when I broke a dude’s nose over a particularly distasteful tattoo. My address is included in my byline here. Mail me a pipe bomb if this makes you angry– I’m off Twitter these days. Peace and love, y’all.

Michaela Rowan Pearl Montoni, ** ******** Street, Apt. *, Pittsburgh, PA 15213 – @dumpsterbassist


Concertgoers Living In The Past/“I Liked Your Old Band Better” Syndrome

Go ahead, keep drunkenly screaming the name of some obscure Arrogant Sons Of Bitches song at the Jeff Rosenstock show, he’s not gonna play it. Since you’ve already decided to be an asshole, why not become the two hundredth person on this tour to ask him when there’s gonna be a Bomb The Music Industry reunion? You paid your own hard-earned money for that ticket to the Glitterer gig, why are you acting shocked when it isn’t Title Fight 2.0? It’s fine to like Modern Baseball more than Slaughter Beach, Dog (respectfully, I agree to disagree), but don’t go to an SBD show and get pissy when Jake Ewald doesn’t play any MoBo songs (though there’s a decent chance he’ll play “Intersection”). It’s insulting to treat an artist’s current project like a consolation prize that you’re settling for because their old band is no longer active. Don’t let your love of something that existed in the past get in the way of your ability to engage with the present. And don’t ask Augusta Koch to sign your years-old Cayetana merch after a Gladie show, that’s kind of a dick move.

Grace Robins-Somerville – @grace_roso


Spotify’s AI DJ

Never before have four characters struck fear into my heart quite like “AI DJ.” Actually? It’s not even fear. More like anger, confusion, and resignation. Of course this is happening; it’s the logical conclusion to everything Spotify has been building toward lately, but with the added fun of everyone’s favorite dystopian technology. Over the past few months, I’ve written quite a bit about how Spotify has been shifting music consumption and how we approach art. Whether it’s single rollouts, algorithmically-generated playlists, or backend licensing nonsense, Spotify has long been at the forefront of annoying extra-musical trends, the latest of which is this AI DJ, as shown in this video spot. After introducing himself and throwing to music with a robotically emphatic “let’s go,” the DJ narrates our hero's journey from one song to the next, including the phrase “let’s get you out of your feels and switch up the vibe.” ugh. 

This feels like a combination of multiple things I hate. First, there’s Spotify’s ongoing approach of “corporate relatability,” deploying common vernacular and AAVE for their playlist and collection names. Second, there’s the flashy addition of AI, a technology I unilaterally hate and believe is more powerful and sinister than we give it credit for. Third, and most pertinent to music fans, this just feels like Spotify continuing to wrestle control and autonomy from its users. As I talk about in this article, Spotify has a vested interest in keeping you listening to what they want you to listen to. Even better if they can pad out those songs with Microsoft Sam speaking in between each track. An AI DJ is the perfect storm of shit that makes my skin crawl in 2023.

Taylor Grimes – @GeorgeTaylorG


Main Character Syndrome at the Rock Show

@much Y’all gotta let #SteveLacy perform in peace 😭 via @stave__ ♬ original sound - MuchMusic

This is probably symptomatic of being stuck inside at the beginning of the pandemic or the hyper-commodification of music in the streaming age (or some combination of both), but people have leaned in a little too hard on that whole “main character syndrome” meme in regards to being at concerts. You would think people would be super appreciative after not having the privilege of watching live music with a crowd of others for a while, but lo and behold, some of us have committed to showing our asses instead. When did it become so acceptable to treat someone performing on stage like shit because you paid for a ticket? Why do they have to say hi to someone they don’t know during a performance so you can send a shaky video to your friend? How come everyone’s talking during an opening act’s set-or worse, just straight up being hostile to them? I had some dude-who-peaked-during-highschool yelling at a band to hurry up and finish their set so they “could see who they actually came to see.” Yikes! Those are people with feelings up there, buddy! Toss in the exuberant costs of touring, and it feels almost surreal that any artist would be willing to step within 50 feet of a stage. Someone make a viral TikTok about concert etiquette- at this point, it’s probably our only hope.

Nick Sackett – @DJQuicknut


The Swiftification of The National

Taylor Swift has a feature on The National’s new album, and I’m annoyed about it. I like some of her music, so I’m not a unilateral hater, but her unavoidability drives me insane. Surely not everything is Swift-able?! It feels like so many artists I care about bring her into stuff to get popularity points. Like, literally—not even streams, which I’d maybe understand in the right circumstance, but social cred. Taylor Swift always gives me these uncanny high school time-warps (so, yes, this is a me problem; I’m aware) to the blonde, thin, cheerleader/volleyball types who would descend on the alt friend group because they’re bored of the football players and they know they’ll be fawned over among new blood. I’m not super happy about this. **Unless, of course, I end up loving this song, in which I reserve, as a therapist once assured me was my due, the right to change my mind. In any case, I clearly need some therapy over this.

Katie Wojciechowski – @ktewoj


Firebreathing Gargoyles of the Night

I don’t fully understand why, but I despise the New York “classic” rock band KISS (also spelled “KIϟϟ” for some godforsaken reason). I’m sure at least part of my hatred is borne of residual disdain from working at a record store where KISS diehards were some of our most consistently insufferable regulars. I never want to hear a man in his 40s explain to me why KISS’ live output surpasses their work in the studio.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with songs like “Rock and Roll All Nite.” I’m not so self-obsessed that I can’t see the appeal of such a simple, hooky pop song. But I see it in the same way that I see the theoretical draw of the Republican National Convention or moving to Wisconsin. It couldn’t be further from what I would ever enjoy, but I guess they’ve been successful for long enough that they must be onto something. That being said, this rotating quartet of trickle-down pyrotechnics and absurdist vanity has never risen above being a corporate joke. How delusional do you have to be to expect to be taken seriously when you’re pretending to be a cat-man? I grew up reading the Warrior cat books, and I still don’t get it.

The schlock-rock novelty is enough to convert some, but it’s nefarious hypnosis at best. Destroyer isn’t “secretly a good album.” KISS isn’t “underrated” or “actually incredibly talented.” They serve their function as well as any past-the-point-of-mockery band of the past. That hardly justifies their induction into the upper echelons of enjoyable music, nevertheless what could be defined as rock history. Let KISS drift away into the landfill of the past and seek better listening habits.

Sidenote: the only positive contribution that Gene Simmons has ever made to society is the Kiss Kasket — unintentional comedic genius.

Wes Muilenburg – @purity0lympics

Webbed Wing – Right After I Smoke This... | EP Review

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Memory Music

Webbed Wing makes loud ass rock music. Led by singer and songwriter Taylor Madison, the band has surprise released a new EP today titled Right After I Smoke This… In only seven minutes, the Philadelphia three-piece manages to deliver three songs that are filled with hooks, riffs, and infectious power pop energy. If you close your eyes really tight, you’ll think you’ve been transported back to the mid-aughts, and you can hear them slotted between Third Eye Blind and Switchfoot on your local alt-rock station. It’s not hyperbolic to mention the group alongside such acts because these songs are absolutely bulletproof. 

“Medication” gets things started with a bang as Madison declares that he is in a rut saying, “I’ve been avoiding all my problems, I can’t move forward.” Moments of apathy ring throughout each track as Madison looks for ways to get out of the situation he’s in, but the solution always feels just out of reach. The darkly humorous “Sure Could Use A Friend” finds Madison getting in his own way as he claims that he’ll get his life moving, but only after he lights one up for old times’ sake. He’s procrastinating adulthood, but he’s sick and tired of being down on himself. On “I’m Feelin Alive,” Madison breaks free from his dark thoughts as he wonders how to “keep these feelings awake, and the other ones asleep?”

These songs epitomize the old “spoonful of sugar” notion as the band candy coats each one in deafening guitars and punchy drums. Each hook has “lead single” written on it, and if it wasn’t for Madison’s vocals being front and center, then you might mistake them for cheerful love songs. Sonically, “Sure Could Use A Friend” is a real stand-out here. Accompanied by a soulful twang, Webbed Wing are in full Lemonheads worship mode on this song, but they don’t let their influences get the best of them. “Medication” and “I’m Feelin Alive” are both straight-ahead guitar rock bangers with no superfluous frills. 

Right After I Smoke This… might find Webbed Wing in between albums, but that doesn’t mean they’re motionless. With the band about to embark on a nationwide tour with Drug Church, Prince Daddy, and Anxious, they’re likely about to earn themselves many new fans, and rightfully so. Proof that sometimes three songs and less than ten minutes is all you need to get your point across.

Connor lives in Emeryville with his partner and their cat and dog, Toni and Hachi. Connor is a student at San Francisco State University and is working toward becoming a community college professor. When he isn’t listening to music or writing about killer riffs, Connor is obsessing over coffee and sandwiches.