knitting – Souvenir | Album Review
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Mint Records
When you don’t know who you are, it’s easy to let the world drown out the part of your brain that can tell something is wrong. You know the corner of your mind that whispers things you’d rather ignore, don’t you? The one that questions if the gender you were given is the right one. Or if you hurt that loved one. Or if you need a new job or new friends or a new city. It is so quiet compared to the noise from outside, that’s just what happens when you need repression to keep yourself alive. But no matter what happens outside you or how much you actively try to silence that nagging feeling, it will always linger. That voice is all over Souvenir by knitting.
knitting first appeared as the bedroom project of Mischa Dempsey in 2021 with their self-titled Bandcamp tape before expanding into a full band for 2024’s Some Kind of Heaven. That record demonstrated how, even with more minds contributing to each track, Dempsey’s writing could still grow more insular. Their sophomore album, Souvenir, has an even narrower focus on Dempsey's perspective, and the result is a record of patient indie rock capable of subtle devastation.
The core of these songs is Dempsey’s singing, a solipsistic murmur that crawls through the mix like that whisper in your ears. Even when the music rises, as we hear on the chorus of lead single “I Want To Remember Everything,” their voice remains steady, untroubled by the emotional turbulence around them. Dempsey’s voice is emblematic of the philosophy that underpins these songs, one that they explain plainly on the chorus of “Sunrise,” in which they sing, “I’m trying everything to reach / Another version of me beneath / Layers of static and latency / I’m underground, and I need relief.” Figuring yourself out is a Sisyphean task to begin with, but when your entire emotional world is engulfed in external complicators, that task becomes less about getting the boulder to the top of the hill and more about finding the peace to keep it in place. Or as Dempsey puts it on “Here Comes,” “on and on the world spun / and shook me up.”
One of my favorite songs on Souvenir is “Shuffle,” for how Dempsey grapples with the difficulties that come with realizing you need to move from passivity. The opening lines “told me / to go easy on myself / I said I’m not sure where to start,” are, for a girl who has avoided therapy for years, far too relatable. How do you unwrap all the layers of repression? How do you address the fears of something bad happening when “we were laughing / with reckless abandon”? That fear comes up again on “I Wasn’t Fully Cooked,” a song built around Dempsey asking if their existence is anything but a tree falling in a forest with no one around to hear it. Is your pain still valid? Can you even claim to be a person when no one acknowledges you? Those are the questions you ask when “[you] can only see / with the aperture of a child.”
My other favorite song here is “Sequel.” The first verse into the chorus sounds so seductive as Dempsey coos that they know assistance is an option, and that not every problem can be fixed alone. The rest of the song captures how hard it is to pretend like you don’t need help. My favorite moment is when they switch up from “if I called, you would come” in the first chorus to “I am not so innocent” in the second.
When Souvenir closes on “Exit Desire,” Dempsey is alone. After a record spent swaddled in the mix by their bandmates, it all ends with Dempsey singing, “‘cause I know I gotta leave, but I’m not sure where to go” with nothing but a single guitar and the occasional synth. Throughout its runtime, Souvenir vividly documents the difficulties of prioritizing yourself, and it ends with the greatest challenge of all: that we’ll never really know which way to go. But that is the beauty of life; there is no right choice except the one that you believe in. If you’re searching for some path or a reason for life, Souvenir can help you extricate that voice. If you’re still ignoring that whisper, these songs can help you hear what you need.
Lillian Weber is a fake librarian in NYC. She writes about gender, music, and other inane thoughts on her substack, all my selves aligned. You can follow her on Insta @Lilllianmweber.
