Heart to Gold – Free Help | Album Review

Memory Music

The day after the election, the high in New York was 80 degrees Fahrenheit. That was the forecast regardless of who won. The highs will continue to rise each winter regardless of which party is in power. The hopes you have for the future will stay in your mind, the work you do to improve the world will continue, and the things you love you will continue to do regardless of the temperature and political situation. Why? 

On Heart to Gold’s third LP, Free Help, they grapple with how to confront that march to the inevitable. Throughout the record, Whiteoak ping-pongs between despondence and exuberance. The stunning opener, “Surrounded,” encapsulates both feelings as Whiteoak sings with his back to the corner as enemies and regrets of wasted time and embarrassing memories close in. But the moment you hear the “oohs” on the chorus, you can’t help but grin. “Surrounded” is like the best Menzingers songs, filled with disdain at having to do this all over a-fucking-gain, but you hope for remission as you push your best friend in the pit and scream along.

Listening to Free Help has made me think about de-transitioning. When Whiteoak sings “I have been suffering for too long” on mid-album highlight, “Belonging,” it calls to mind when a kid at work tells me I can’t be a girl because I look like a boy or that my voice is too deep for a girl. When I see my mom still has me listed as my dead name on her phone. I ask myself what this is all for? Why do I suffer these indignities when it would be easier to return to the closet? I’m tired of explaining my existence. What stops me is remembering the spiritual death of the closet. I suffered through that too long to give up the flush of euphoria I feel when I try on the new dress I bought for my birthday, the community I’ve found who love and understand me, and the intimacy I’ve longed desired with female friends over the dejected feeling that comes from others being indecent. I may not belong in others’ expectations of the world, but I belong in the world I’m building. It’s all there in the pre-chorus for “Can’t Feel Me” when Whiteoak sings, “Sometimes the highest highs / at times the lowest lows.” Those are the breaks.

Over the last couple of days, I’ve been finding comfort in the transition from “Pandora” to “Blow Up The Spot.” The former track, full of space and meditative lyrics, is an ode to being uncomfortable, existing in the human position of struggle. America conditions us to mimic water and find the path of least resistance from cradle to grave, but the beauty of life is in the uncertainties, in the closet doors opened. When the latter track explodes out of the lingering outro of “Pandora,” I want to throw myself around the room screaming along. I feel such a sense of relief when the bridge of “Blow Up The Spot” comes in after a brief pause. It’s simply the best feeling an indie rock song could give today. 

I was reading an interview with the novelist Sally Rooney in the New York Times, where she was asked explicitly about how to live a meaningful life in the face of historical crises like the genocide in Gaza. Listening to Free Help, I was reminded of this line she said: “I suppose I tell myself that in the midst of all of this, people need not become so incredibly overwhelmed by the enormity of the problems that we’re facing as to feel that life itself is no longer meaningful and that there’s no reason to go on.”

Free Help is the sound of looking at the enormity of the problems and refusing to let them win because you can’t let anything steal your joy, your reasons for being, or your hope and will for a better tomorrow. 

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Lillian Weber is a fake librarian in NYC. She writes about gender, music, and other inane thoughts on her substack, all my selves aligned. You can follow her burner account on Twitter @Lilymweber.

Heart to Gold – “Can’t Feel Me” | Single Review

Memory Music

Some of the best music is seasonal. I’m not talking about holiday music, and I’m not even talking about something overt, like Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. I mean, there are some songs, bands, and sounds that just feel like they suit a certain kind of weather. There are songs for winter that feel nostalgic and heavy and sad, music made for that moment when the sun barely crests the horizon and the temperature seems like it never rises. Then there are songs for summer, which are often eager and full of anticipation, like the feeling of waking up early to take a trip with nothing more than the open road ahead. “Can’t Feel Me” by Heart to Gold falls somewhere between spring and summer, heady with the first warmth of May, yet still tinged with the chill of old snow that lingers in the shadows of the woods.

Heart to Gold has long been a band in my personal rotation of favorites, with their 2022 album Tom being one I still put on regularly. Since the release of their first EP in 2016, their bold sound and distinct vocals have set them apart from other bands in the emo/punk scene, with tracks like “Tokyo” and “Tigers Jaw” only solidifying their position. “Can’t Feel Me” comes on the heels of their 2023 tour supporting scene giant Movements, along with Mannequin Pussy and Softcult. This is also the first we’ve heard from the band since the release of their standalone 2023 single “Chloë,” which was one of my favorite tracks of last year. Heart to Gold consistently outdo themselves with each subsequent release, and “Can’t Feel Me” is no different.

Tender guitars and soaring vocals took me by the hand and pulled me, laughing, through breezy patches of sunlight and past damp, mossy shadows. I felt like I was missing something I never had as Grant poured his heart out over rich chords.

Sometimes the highest highs, at times the lowest lows.
It must feel like I’m distant, constantly can’t feel me.
Seems like the right direction, but right now I can’t see.

His lyrics echo the sentiment so many of us twenty- and thirty-somethings feel. I think this is the right thing to do, but what if I’m making a mistake? Am I doing it right? We are watching the spring of our lives transition into summer, welcoming the change of seasons with open arms and a hesitant smile, but in the back of our heads, we still wonder if it’s where we’re really supposed to be. “Shout it out,” cries Grant, “shout it out! I don’t feel the same!” Neither do I, and as the new warmth of summer touches my skin and freckles my arms, I think I’m okay with that.

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Britta Joseph is a musician and artist who, when she isn’t listening to records or deep-diving emo archives on the internet, enjoys writing poetry, reading existential literature, and a good iced matcha. You can find her on Instagram @brittajoes.

The Best of Q2 2022

We’re halfway through the year, and, well, lots has happened. As always, music has been a guiding light in my life, offering both something to hold onto and something to look forward to. If you’re reading this, you probably feel the same way and have just as many albums that have helped keep you grounded over the last [insert number of bad months here].

What follows is a collection of ten albums released over the last three months that have connected with me. If you want to read about my favorite albums from the first three months of the year, click here. Other than that, read on for the tunes that have helped keep me sane throughout the spring and early summer of 2022. 

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Angel Olsen - Big Time

Jagjaguwar

If I were to describe the new Angel Olsen album in one word, it would be “breathtaking.” I’ll be the first to admit that–aside from last year’s phenomenal one-off Sharon Van Etten collab– I haven’t been the biggest fan of Olsen’s output as of late. That waning interest is less about declining artistry and more because 2016’s My Woman is one of my favorite records of the entire decade, and that’s a tall order to surpass. This all said, Big Time has been a fast love and now feels like the closest she’s gotten to the sublime energy captured on that seminal record. The approach taken on her fifth album ends up fitting Olsen perfectly; twangy and honest country-light is a great backdrop that allows our heroine to unleash the full power of her voice and emotions. The instrumentals are aching and meticulously crafted, gently guiding the songs forward while also being beautiful in their own right. After making one of the best indie rock records of the decade, getting orchestral-gothic, and taking a vibrant 80s detour, Big Time proves the only place left to go is back home. 

Ben Quad - I’m Scared That’s All There Is

Chillwavve Records

I feel like every couple of months I extol the virtues of some emo band with a variation of “I love that tappy shit,” but it’s true, dammit. My desire for noodly riffs is insatiable, and luckily emo is a genre where bands can crank that shit out in abundance. Ben Quad, however, is better than all of those mid-ass midwest bands, as they prove throughout their debut full-length I’m Scared That’s All There Is. Evoking equally punctual emo greats like Oliver Houston, Ben Quad pack relatable lyrics, dizzying riffs, and hypnotic chants into a compact and fulfilling 23 minutes, resulting in what’s already one of the best emo albums of the year.

Heart To Gold - Tom

Memory Music

There he is, peering out at you, all freckled and wide-eyed. Who is that on the cover of the second full-length from Heart to Gold? Is it a member of the band? Is it the titular Tom? You’ll have to press play to find out. In one of my biggest surprises so far this year, Heart to Gold utilize an intoxicating mixture of emo, pop-punk, and just a dash of hardcore, bending the best (and least-embarrassing) aspects of these genres to their will. The songs on this record are boisterous, energetic, emphatic, and every other descriptor you’d want to hear while packed into a sweaty Minneapolis basement. There are hilarious samples, touches of tappy midwest emo instrumentation, cathartic group chants, and even some killer Title Fight-esque screams. As with most records of this genre, the theme of Tom seems to be a general sense of maturation. Whether they’re grappling with the weight of existence or riding the waves of tumultuous relationships, the band maintains an open-hearted approach that keeps the release grounded and relatable. Much like the first dude at the show who opens up the pit, Heart to Gold do an excellent job of inviting you into their world and encouraging you to scream along. 

HTML - Righteousness Endures Forever

Self-released

Death is real. That’s far from an original insight, but HTML manage to put a revelatory spin on loss throughout their sophomore record, Righteousness Endures Forever. Pitched by lead singer Travis Verbil as “a dad rock record about my dead dad (but chill though),” the release is heavily inspired by 70s singer-songwriter fare but also acts as a clear continuation of the dynamic indie rock sound found on 2018’s Topmost Grief. Just seven songs clocking in at a lightweight 20 minutes and 20 seconds, Righteousness explores what it means to lose someone, love someone, and honor their life through your own. A stunning and touching collection of songs that have spoken to me on an intimate level.

PUP - THE UNRAVELING OF PUPTHEBAND

Rise Records

On some level, the fourth studio album from PUP just feels like “More PUP.” It’s not a massive departure from the music they’ve been making their whole career, but when you can crank out anthemic shout-along punk by the albumload, why not go back for another helping, right? A lightly conceptual album depicting the Toronto punks as a floundering business, THE UNRAVELING OF PUPTHEBAND sees the band fraying at the seams attempting to turn their musical passions into a sustainable career. The group experiments with new elements like pianos, synths, trumpets, trombones, saxophones, guest features, and more. Perhaps most noticeably, the album is loud and not just in a thrashy punk way, but in a blown-out, bit-crushed way. It’s a stylistic choice that allows everything to hang together nicely and makes this album feel distinct from prior PUP releases.

Even with a relatively unique wholistic sound, there is some retreaded material here. As much as they shred, both “Robot Writes A Love Song” and “Matilda” are love songs projected onto non-human objects, a previously-winning formula for the band. Even my favorite song, “Waiting,” evokes the angry “Full Blown Meltdown” but differentiates itself by launching into a stellar two-syllable single-word chorus that is a marvel of songwriting and economy of words. At worst, these redundancies come across as a kind of steadfast artistic consistency that can only be achieved by a punk band who have somehow managed to claw their way to a decade-plus career. UNRAVELING is a stellar record that proves more PUP is never a bad thing.

Sadurn - Radiator

Run For Cover Records

I will always give at least one listen to everything that Run For Cover puts out. After building up a decade of goodwill with releases that have become lifelong loves, this trustworthiness has paid off in spades, leading to some of my favorite records of recent years, like Springtime and Blind and Animal Companionship. When the Boston-based label announced they were signing Sadurn earlier this year, I did the same thing I always do and listened to the first single. Also doubling as the album opener, “Snake” hits a sweet spot between Ratboys-style indie rock twang and DIY heart-on-sleeve sensibilities. Perhaps most importantly, the track is topped off with a lovely dollop of slide guitar, an instrument that has become a light obsession for me over the last few years. After letting it marinate for about a month, Sadurn followed that first single up with “Golden Arm” and then “Icepick,” each song quickly cornering a different fold of my heart. 

The full Radiator experience isn’t too far off from those singles. Defaulting to the pace of a lazy porch swing on a hot summer's day, these songs ache with longing, love, and adolescent confusion. The perfect record to throw on early morning with a cup of coffee, mid-afternoon with a beer, or late at night in the throes of yearning. Another in the long line of records that proves Run For Cover runs in my blood. 

Short Fictions - Every Moment Of Every Day

Lauren Records

What if an emo fell in love? And what if said emo fell in love while the world was falling apart? Oh, wait… that’s lots of us. And given the contents of Every Moment Of Every Day, it’s safe to say that Short Fictions vocalist/guitarist Sam Treber is among them. Throughout the phenomenal sophomore album from the Pittsburg emo revivalists, we hear beautiful, loving sentiments nestled between anxiety-riddled observations about the ever-crumbling world in which we live. 

Both “Heather” and “You Will Never Be the Best at Anything You Try (Surely Not)” are adoring love songs that also acknowledge the realities of the failing capitalistic system most 20-somethings begrudgingly find ourselves in the middle of. What do you do when you feel the most powerful force on earth while the world around you is falling apart? When the climate crisis has already arrived, when your partner is 100 miles away, when everything is changing and it’s freaking you out? It’s a wildly conflicting feeling to hold such positive and negative things in your heart at once, but that space is where Short Fictions thrive. 

Aside from these overarching throughlines of connection and distress, other highlights include when the group gives a realistic view of tour life on “Don’t Start a Band” and express their frustrations with capitalism on the hardcore rager “The Great Unwashed.” Album closer “Don’t Pinch Me I’m Dreaming” lands the record on a hopeful reminder that love can be a powerful motivator despite all the strife that precedes and surrounds it. Much like their phenomenal debut, Every Moment of Every Day is a 30-minute 8-track LP that proves the emo genre still has much more to give as long as you’re willing to listen.

The Smile - A Light For Attracting Attention

XL Recordings

As an artist, sometimes all you need to do is give your audience a different angle–a simple reframing that can shift an ordinary object into an extraordinary new light. After being a band for nigh-on 40 years, it’s understandable why the members of Radiohead would find fulfillment in other artistic ventures that don’t carry the same pressure or expectations as a prestige-level alternative rock band. While The Smile counts two vital members of the English rock band amongst its ranks, the addition of jazz drummer Tom Skinner plus the name change forces the listener to conceive of this album as something aside from the Big Band whose shadow it can sometimes fall under.

There is the occasional moment, like a tappy Greenwood guitar solo or an arrant Yorke moan, which sound downright Radiohead, but those are more baked-in flourishes of their respective creators than anything intentional. Artistically, it feels as if this trio approached songwriting from a very different place than they usually do. Songs are wandering, loopy, and almost improvised at points. Lyrics are recursive and often see Yorke repeating the same thing over and over again to a hypnotic effect. A Light For Attracting Attention is a groovy big-budget alternative record packed with a surprising breadth of ideas for a bunch of dudes who are now solidly middle aged. If anything, The Smile proves that, even with a legendary history and larger-than-life expectations, sometimes all you need to innovate is a different perspective.

Soccer Mommy - Sometimes, Forever

Loma Vista Recordings

Sophie Allison is a fantastic musician with terrible luck. I’ve been looking forward to Sometimes, Forever since it was unveiled back in March alongside the stellar lead single “Shotgun.” Not only was one of my favorite artists releasing a new album this year, but she was releasing it on my birthday. It felt like a little gift from Allison just to me. After a string of incredible singles, the album arrived on the same day the Supreme Court announced it was overturning Roe v Wade. I’m not trying to say this record was the worst casualty of the day, but it’s easy to see how the excitement of a new album can shrink infinitesimally in the shadow of such an appalling and upsetting decision. Much like 2020’s Color Theory which was released just weeks before the world went into shutdown for the COVID-19 pandemic, it felt like Soccer Mommy was once again releasing an album at the worst possible time. Still, I was grateful to have a collection of new music from an artist I’ve loved for years during an incredibly hard day. 

Not only is Sometimes, Forever another fantastic album from Soccer Mommy, but it might also be one of her best. Aside from the aforementioned singles that make up the first half of the album, songs like “With U” and “Feel It All The Time” are downright stunners. My personal favorite, “Darkness Forever,” begins with a sinister Portishead-style trip-hop beat and mounts into a lumbering oppressive riff. That darkness is immediately contrasted with “Don’t Ask Me,” which drops the listener into a rip-roaring 90s-style shoegaze lick and builds to the most “fun” guitar solos Soccer Mommy has ever put to music. Allison caps the record off with “Still,” an excruciating closer in the vein of “Wildflowers” or “Gray Light,” where she rips your heart out, holds it up to your face, and leaves you utterly devastated in the album’s final moments. Sometimes, Forever may have arrived at a bad time in the world, but it’s coming at the perfect time for me. 

Summerbruise - The View Never Changes

Old Press Records

I listen to lots of “sad” music, but no band writes about sadness quite like Summerbruise. Outside of maybe Greet Death, I don’t think I’ve ever found a group with the ability to capture the particular brand of numbness and apathy that I identify with. Luckily, the members of Summerbruise recognize how heavy their lyrics are and expertly counter-balance these borderline-crushing song topics with peppy pop-punk instrumentals that are vivacious, musically diverse, and surprisingly danceable. A couple of choice lyric pulls include, “Well I know it’s not that easy, but I owe you all a try / I’m not that used to trying, but I think it might feel nice” and “so I’m sorry if I seem zoned out, it’s probably cause I am as fuck.” Whew. With song titles like “Kayfabing the Boys” and “Happy Hour 2,” it’s clear Summerbruise only take themselves so seriously–a relief that underscores the otherwise serious subject matter and help makes everything a little more bearable. Much like 2019’s Always Something, the latest from Summerbruise speaks to me on an almost-worrying level. At least the dope riffs make it easier to swallow.