Dogs. They’re everywhere, maybe even in your own home. You might know them as Man’s Best Friend, but I’d argue they’re even more than that–they’re art.

I’ve always been a dog person. My family has had two dogs; Inca (rest in peace) and Miracle. They’re both Keeshonds and both very good girls. I’m just doing a ballpark estimation, but I’d guess that I’ve taken dozens of gigabytes worth of photos and videos of both of them over the last sixteen years. They’re cute, and I love them!

It only makes sense that musical artists have the same connections with their dogs, so it’s no surprise why many of them have immortalized their pets (or other people’s pets) on the covers of their albums.

Go on, just think about it. You can probably name a few off the top of your gear right now without even trying. As far as album covers go, I’d like to make a bold and substanceless claim that no other creature within the album kingdom has been as well-represented as canines. Big guys, small guys, fluffy guys, feral guys, they’re all here in some form or another on various album covers from indie rock to experimental bullshit.

In this article, I’d like to rank these famous pups by how much I’d like to pet them personally. I’d also like to give the clarifying asterisk that I think all of these dogs are good boys and girls. This ranking is no judgment on the dog’s looks or the artist’s music, purely how much I would personally like to curl up with the dog we see on the album art.

Secondary asterisk: don’t you dare contact me and tell me that I “missed one.” This is all of them, every dog that’s ever existed on an album cover ever. There are no more… Just kidding, please add your favorite album cover dogs in the comments; I want to see them all.

Machine Girl - Wlfgrl

Given the title of this album, the animal captured on Machine Girl’s breakthrough album may very well be a wolf. Regardless, it does not look friendly and is not an animal I would want anywhere near me. 0/10

21 Savage, Offset & Metro Boomin - Without Warning

Not a happy dog, and I wouldn’t be happy to be around him. 1/10

Blur – Parklife

Here they come, barreling towards you, driven by some unknowable primordial force and the taste for victory. I think greyhounds are pretty cool, but any time you see a muzzle on a dog, that signals at least some level of un-cuddliness. Also, minus points for being British. 2/10

Joyce Manor - Cody

I wonder what the dietary information is on a mannequin head. 2/10

Rick Springfield - Working Class Dog

A prisoner of capitalism. One album later, the same dog can be seen riding in the back of a limousine flanked by two girl dogs. He may claim, as the title reads, “success hasn’t spoiled me yet,” but the smile on his face has noticeably faded. Money won’t bring you happiness, Rick Springfield dog, I can promise you that. 2/10

Weezer - Raditude

Sometimes a boy’s just gotta fly. He probably just heard “(If You’re Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To” and got all hyped up. We’ve all been there, right? I would like to vacation in this home, but I don’t know if I could deal with the energy level of this particular dog. 3/10

Nouns - still bummed

Something about this dog has always unsettled me. Maybe it’s the underexposed flash film photography, the modest Christmas tree in the background, or the music itself, but I’ve never been a fan. Plus, huskies always remind me of this meme dog. 3/10

Rush – Signals

Not to go all “Cruella” on you guys, but I once heard that Dalmatians are bad with kids, and that turned me off of them forever. Not even a good Rush album. 4/10

Snoop Dogg - Bush

Look, I know there’s probably a more-famous Snoop Dogg cover you were expecting to see on this list, but Bush is a fun little funk record that’s worth checking out. This is also markedly less horny album cover than Doggystyle, and this is a WHOLESOME list, so I’m opting for Bush. The ideal listening (and dog petting) scenario is nearby a BBQ on a hot summer day with some beers in hand. 5/10

Mogwai - Travel is Dangerous

This is my baby Yoda. The live version of “We’re No Here” is crushingly heavy and one of my favorite songs of all time; please go listen. 5/10

SUB-CATEGORY: CARTOON GUYS

We’re roughly halfway through our countdown, so let’s take a break from the real dogs to look at some fake dogs. I’m putting all these illustrated guys into their own category because they’re still dogs but deserve to be analyzed with slightly different criteria.

In terms of the physical action of petting, would I be petting a 2D approximation of these dogs? Would I myself be 2D? Would it be a Roger Rabbit-style cartoon-into-real-world logic? As you can see, we must look at these boys slightly differently and rank them accordingly. Still scored based on cuteness and overall petability.

Mannequin Pussy - Perfect

I can see why Mannequin Pussy chose this dog as the cover for their awesome EP from last year. It’s a rager of a punk release, and this snarling German Shepard embodies the music well. This all said, cartoon or not, I’d like to keep this dog far away from me. 1/10

Iron & Wine - The Shepherd's Dog

Freaky little dog with freaky little eyes. Honestly would probably put me to sleep just like this album. 2/10

Crywank - Tomorrow Is Nearly Yesterday And Everyday Is Stupid

Here we see a certified looooong boy having achieved Dog Nirvana. I’ll let him enjoy victory over his tail and not disrupt him with my pets or adoration. 3/10

Car Seat Headrest - Twin Fantasy

Long before I knew anything about Will Toledo’s life as a furry, I thought this album cover was just a veiled homage to Daniel Johnston. I’d offer to pet these dogs, but honestly, it seems like they’re comforting each other just fine. 4/10

Hovvdy - Easy/Turns Blue

Technically a single, so technically a dog 5/10

Newgrounds Death Rugby - Pictures of Your Pets

No idea where these guys are, what they’re wearing, or why they're posing for a picture, but I can only imagine they’re a good hang. I’d let them crash on my couch while backpacking across the country. 6/10

Mo Troper - Dilettante

A vibrant and multi-colored dog. Truth be told, I don’t know quite what’s going on here, but the abstractness kinda adds to the charm. If I owned this dog, I’d name him Schlorp. 7/10

TTNG - Animals

A landmark math rock album in which a group of five British men attempt to replicate the energy of 13 various animals across as many tracks. While the dog only may be one small piece of this album and its art, it’s hard to deny how small and cute this guy is. Plus, if he can coexist alongside an alligator, elk, baboon, and more, you just know he’s a stone-cold chiller. 8/10

Various Artists - No Earbudz Vol. 1

Look, ain't no rules says a dog can't play basketball. There also aren’t any rules that a PR company can’t put out one of the best compilations of 2021. Assisting in album campaigns for the likes of Bartees Strange, Into It Over It, Future Teens, Caracara, and more, No Earbuds is a killer organization that’s home to some of the best and brightest minds in emotional indie rock. Having all these artists cover each other was a stroke of genius. Here’s hoping we get a Vol. 2 someday. Very petable, very good. 9/10

Advance Base - Animal Companionship

Regal, majestic, pure. These are just a few of the words that come to mind when I look at the dog on the cover of Animal Companionship. He might be a little cold, but I’d gladly let him inside and allow him to warm up by the fire. Also, possibly my favorite album on this list besides TTNG. 10/10

Okay, that about covers us for the two-dimensional dogs. Now, back to your regularly-scheduled dog ranking…

Alex G - Trick

Look at him go. He may have grown up in a religious environment, but you can just tell that this German Shepherd knows how to party. 6/10

Phoebe Bridgers - Stranger In The Alps

In Phoebe Bridgers’ first (and, in my opinion, best) album, we take in an image that, much like her music, is equal parts haunting and charming. Set on a pastoral farm scene, a scratched-out cartoon ghost obscures the humanoid figure beneath. A rainbow breaks through the sky, dog nearby, cautiously surveying the scene and looking damn cute while doing it. Phoebe has also posted a cool unedited version on Instagram, which is great for all your Deluxe Edition needs. 6/10

Hot Mulligan - you’ll be fine

Me? Depressed. Emotionless. Existing, but not feeling. My dog? Luckily my dog feels everything. We both take in the endless expanse of nature listening to the post-emo of you’ll be fine, and for 31 minutes, it seems like things might just turn out okay. 6/10

Pet Symmetry - Pets Hounds

Floppy-ass ears and big hangin’ tongues, what else could you want in an animal? I just know these dogs would be down for a couple of hours of fetch and a long rest on the front porch afterward. 7/10

Jimmy Mayo - Whoops

Boop. Oh, sorry, I didn’t see ya there. In what feels like the tonal inverse of the Nouns dog, here we have a warm but just-as-out-of-focus pic of a pup on the cover of one of the most underrated and under-the-radar emo EPs of the past few years. 7/10

See Through Person - Chariot

Another great emo dog. He’s chillin’, you’re chillin’, life is good, and the riffs are twinkly. 7/10

Kate Bush - Hounds of Love

The Stranger Things lady? Cool! All kidding aside, I’m happy for Kate Bush and the legions of Gen Z fans she’s recently attained. I’m even happier to report that the titular hounds on Hounds of Love appear infinitely cuddle-able. In fact, the album cover acts as undeniable proof of that fact. 8/10

Pet Symmetry - Two Songs About Cars. Two Songs With Long Titles.

Whoa, boom, second entry from the same band on one list! Pet Symmetry is easily taking home the “most dog-friendly band” award. They must have been trying to make this a theme in the band’s early days, and how could you deny them when you look at a dog this cute? A wonderful boy that I would drive to the dog park any day of the week. 8/10

Little Big League - Tropical Jinx

Michelle Zauner, mustaches, and a singular fluffy pup snuggled in between them. What else could you possibly need? 9/10

Beck – Odelay

One of the types of dogs. I’ve always wanted to pet him. I’ve always wanted to see him on a windy day. I’ve always wanted to see him do everything. 10/10

Shelley FKA DRAM - Big Baby DRAM

Damn, look at DRAM. Look at that pup. This image radiates happiness in a way that few album covers ever do. A perfect composition. 10/10

It’s safe to say that none of us have come out of the past year the same. The collective experiences of a world in quarantine will continue to influence us in countless ways and have already left a mark that will never be truly erased. I’ll never know who I would’ve been if 2020 wasn’t a year of personal trials and global tragedies, but what can any of us do besides pick up the pieces of a life we used to know and carry on. Future Suits by Pet Symmetry is a reminder that we’ve all been subject to circumstances beyond our control. Perhaps even more importantly, the record is a bid to find some meaning in the indifferent chaos.

Future Suits is a new look for Evan Weiss, Erik Czaja, and Marcus Nuccio in more ways than one. The album cover’s QR code and sci-fi lettering don’t lie to listeners; this is a more digital and eclectic effort than we’ve seen from Pet Sym before. Synthesizer lines and tropically influenced drum beats are scattered across the record. The band also shows us their dynamic range throughout the release on softer, laid-back tracks like “Debt Symmetry.” Fans shouldn’t be wary though, as perhaps the group’s biggest triumph is maintaining their Chicago-rock edge while still growing their sound.

This isn’t to understate the songwriting on Future Suits, which doesn’t depart from their trademark-style of introspective thoughts conveyed in sing-along choruses. The lyrics are still filled with clever wordplay and good humor, after all, what do you expect from a group with three songs on an album that are puns on their band name? (no disrespect to “Pet Sympathy” “Debt Symmetry” and “Pet Synergy,”). The Pet Symmetry gang still seem to have as much fun as you can while playing music, but impressively don’t shy away from the heavier topics of social commentary.

While present throughout the album, tracks like “Bootlicker” and “2021: A Personal Space Odyssey” bring themes of social strife to the forefront. These songs acknowledge the personal traumas and hardships of living through unrest while also making a statement on the overarching issues causing societal damage. This bifocal perspective makes for a refreshing listen, especially when Evan Weiss’ knack for combining immersive imagery and slick phrasing is at full force. One such instance is “Bootlicker,” which boasts lines like “bruised blue from tension watching you / a numbered badge just wasting time on every avenue.” These tracks achieve an ambitious desire to encapsulate the environment of “post” COVID society and make a meaningful statement without coming off as preachy.

This represents a serious increase in scope for the focus of Pet Symmetry’s music. Fan favorites off of previous records like “A Detailed and Poetic Physical Threat to the Person Who Intentionally Vandalized my 1994 Dodge Intrepid Behind Kate’s Apartment,” “You & Me & Mt. Hood,” and “Please Don’t Tell My Father That I Used His Honda Accord to Destroy the Town of Willow Grove, Pennsylvania in 2002” all detail formative adventures in loving detail, but are confined to being individual experiences. With Future Suits, Pet Symmetry face down a global pandemic, civil unrest, and political dishonesty with the same ethos of teenage joy-riding rebels. Admittedly, many people are understandably burnt out at the prospect of hearing about the doom and gloom of planet Earth in 2021. While this record can’t promise escapism, it does provide a novel perspective on the situation delivered in a distinct and well-executed style.

Not only is it not preachy, but this record oozes authenticity. It touches the big, small, good, bad, and ugly that comes with getting through life one day at a time. Future Suits chronicles the personal journeys of navigating relationships, fighting the monotony of everyday life, and finding a place for yourself in the universe. Tracks like “Window Pain” paint this picture of turmoil at every turn; “as the world keeps getting small / we’re just sailing through the darkness / we’re the ships that face the squall.” Yet another tune that perfectly evokes these emotions of personal reckoning is “Pet Synergy” with lines like; “times they are tough / vibes remain off / so how else do you break up with yourself / standing in the shade of your own shadow.” The same song also bears daunting reminders of our fragility; “you see, all my friends keep dying / if I don’t put my apologies into writing I’m scared they’ll never get to where they need to be.” Packaging these themes seamlessly into a driving, raucous jam is an accomplishment that not every band is capable of. Pet Symmetry’s emotional outpouring here doesn’t take on the tone of whiny venting (which can be great too!) but is a powerful display of heartfelt angst.

Pet Symmetry’s third album is an enjoyable listen all the way through in no small part due to its natural ebb and flow. More hard-hitting barnburners like “Pet Synergy” with its overdriven guitar and open-hi hat grooves transition cleanly into smoothly chilled tunes like “Bootlicker.” Even with this range, these dynamic rises and falls don’t at all seem forced, an excellent quality for a record that you’re going to want to listen to from front to back over and over again.

Future Suits is a masterclass in a band expanding their sound while staying true to their roots. Exploring new sonic territory while introducing lyrical content to their discography may seem like biting off more than they can chew, but Pet Symmetry has shown with this release that they can take these challenges in stride. Future Suits should scratch any Pet Sym itch that listeners have had and should excite you for their next chapter… Here’s to hoping we make it there.

Jack Hansen-Reed is an avid music fan from Omaha, Nebraska with a passion for all things DIY. In his free time, he enjoys sticking it to the man, cheering on the Cubbies, and drumming in indie-americana act Bearwithus. Send him any music recommendations on Twitter at @jhansenreed.

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