Swim Into The Sound’s 2018 Un-Awards

Let’s face it, lots of terrible stuff happened in 2018. While I could bust out a thousand words on the state of the world, politics, and my own mental health, none of that is why you’re here. No, Swim Into The Sound Un-Awards are designed for a very specific purpose: to highlight some of the year’s worst moments in music. The regrettable lyrics, the bad cover art, the poor decisions that need to be remembered if only so the feeling of shame may never be washed off these artists.

In all honesty, I don’t really like being negative. This blog is, has been, and always will be a place of positivity where I can recommend things wholeheartedly… but sometimes shit just sucks. 

If you’d like a refresher on how this works, feel free to revisit last year’s Un-Awards and give yourself a reminder of something from 2017 that you have tried to block out. Alternatively, if you’d like a more positive version of this list, I’d recommend reading our Diamond Platters which act as a companion piece more in-line with this blog’s usual sincerity and positivity. If nothing else, the Diamond Platters may offer a way to get the taste out of your mouth after reading this list. 

For those of you strong enough to continue, make sure your constitution is at peak performance because this list will test your mind, body, and soul. Be warned ye who enter here; this is the dregs of 2018. 

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You Couldn’t Pay Me To Write A Worse Headline

Winner: Flaming Lips tell us about their plans to make vinyl out of Miley Cyrus' pee 

Look guys, I get what you’re doing, but this needs to stop somewhere. I respect The Flaming Lips for what they’ve contributed to the psychedelic genre, hell, I even respect Miley for what she’s done in pop… but this? This is too far. 

Runner-up: Limp Bizkit’s Fred Durst Is Directing A Thriller Where John Travolta Plays An Insane Stalker

Literally every sentence in this headline is worse than the last. 

“You Played Yourself” Award for Biggest Dumbass of 2018

Winner: Nicki Minaj

2018 will forever be the year I lost respect for Nicki Minaj. Between lying in beefs with Cardi B, blaming Travis Scott for her poor album sales, and generally acting a fool on her radio show, she also managed to be a dick to her fans, elevate and legitimize a pedophile, remain openly-homophobic, and even ruin the life of one critic. No wonder why she can’t sell any concert tickets.

Runner-up: Tekashi 6ix9ine

Tekashi 6ix9ine is a pedophile. Let’s just get that out of the way up top. Much like xxxtentacion, this is a guy who never should have never gained a fanbase, legitimacy, or success in the first place. In fact, it’s amazing he’s made it this far without getting killed. This November the prayers of myself and every other sane hip-hop head were answered as Mr. SixNine was arrested on racketeering charges, landing him a minimum of 32-years in prison and a maximum of life. Do I think this will stop any of his more militant brain-dead fans from defending him? Not at all, but at least the guy is behind bars where he belongs. That’s what happens when you film your crimes for clout.

Words That Should Have Never Been Put To Music

Winner: Justin Timberlake - “Hers (Interlude)”

It’s pretty rare that I shudder at a song. While I slogged through Justin Timberlake’s latest mistake of an album for a quick review this February, there have been few moments more uncomfortable than my first listen of “Hers (Interlude).” With lyrics that read like the rambling diary of a serial killer, the song is comprised almost entirely of Jessica Biel monologing over an atmospheric piano-laden soundscape. As the one-minute song wears on, his wife explains how wearing JT’s flannel makes her feel powerful, almost as if she’s wearing his skin. Oof. 

Runner-up: Justin Timberlake - “Sauce”

Okay Justin, I’m sorry, but I had to do this. I know you’re experimenting with new sounds on this album... but I don’t care what genre you’re writing, nobody should ever pen the words “Ooh, I love your pink, you like my purple.” wowzers. 

Most Reality-Questioning Collab

Winner: Car Seat Headrest x Smash Mouth

2018 was a powerful year for collabs. From hip-hop to indie rock, it felt like every genre was blessed with an endless supply of albums that represented the meeting of musical minds… But most of those collabs made sense. Back in February indie darlings and known-meme lords Car Seat Headrest exchanged covers with Smash Mouth leading to one of the most perplexing and unlikely team-ups of all-time. 

Runner-up: William Shatner and Iggy Pop

If I told you that William Shatner and the Godfather of Punk crooned out a version of “Silent Night” earlier this year, would you believe me? Maybe it’s best that you just take my word for it. 

Worst Album Art

Winner: Neko Case - Hell-on

I know for a fact that Neko Case is a great artist with a strong voice and a defined artistic vision. This cover does not show that. 

Runner-up: E-40 - The Gift of Gab

Oh no E-40, baby, what is you doin?

Worst “Last Call” Ripoff

Winner: Bhad Bhabie - “Bhad Bhabie Story”

Like so many stars in 2018, Bhad Bhabie initially rose to prominence through a meme. At the end of her 38-minute debut, the queen of Reality Show Rap took a moment to reflect on how she got here. It’s like a white trash version of Kanye’s Last Call, but captured in a surprisingly lucid and earnest light, especially when you consider who we’re listening to.

Runner-up: Logic - “Last Call”

As Logic is wont to do, his version of “Last Call” is both a more technical and proficient version than Bhad Bhabie’s. However, he loses creative points for calling out the fact that he’s doing “his own” Last Call in the song itself. You want it too bad, Logic. 

I Know It’s Good, I Just Don’t Have The Patience For It

Winner: Daughters - You Won’t Get What You Want

Admittedly not an entirely negative category, I know there’s something exciting going on under the hood of Daughters’ fourth studio album… I just can’t bring myself to dig for it. I think I’ve started this record nearly a dozen times but then given up before it has time to do anything interesting. I guess this isn’t the introduction to “noise” that I need.

Runner-up: Anna von Hausswolff - Dead Magic

Another album I’ve heard nothing but great things about, Dead Magic is one of those records I keep scrolling by in my Spotify saved section and telling myself ‘someday.’ Opening your album with a 12-minute droney goth song is just a big ask up front. On top that, ”droney goth” is rarely a headspace I find myself wanting to linger in.

Am I The Only One Seeing This Shit?

Winner: Lil Pump’s Infatuation With His Grandmother

Last year it was 21 Savage’s obsession with food, this year it’s Lil Pump’s love for his grandmother. Penned early on in the year, Lil Pump Versus The Elderly was a then-comprehensive 3,000-word analysis of every time Lil Pump has referenced his grandmother and/or the grandmother of the listener. Quite frankly, it’s a shocking number of times for someone who (still) has such a small discography.

Runner-up: Offset’s Patek Collection

Did you guys know that Offset owns a Patek Phillipe? I know because I compiled all thirty references the Migos member has made to the watch across his storied career. I think it’s safe to say the man has purchased at least one of the high-end timepieces. 

Most Regrettable Guest Feature

Winner: Lil Durk on “Off White VLONE”

Hey, Lil Durk? Of all the things to rap about (see above entry) why on earth would you choose to write about sexual assault? On the intro track to Lil Baby & Gunna’s otherwise enjoyable collaborative tape Chicago-based rapper Lil Durk decided to end his verse with the lyrics “Gotta suck dick on your period / You can't say, ‘No,’ I ain't hearin' it.” At least Lil Baby offers a somewhat redeeming ray of hope later on with a progressive line about consent on “Never Recover.”

Runner-up: Rick Ross on “What’s Free”

Rapping the f-word? In 2018? Please refer to this tweet.

American Fuss Award For Most Imbalanced Album 

Winner: Foxing - Nearer My God

This award, named after a clumsy portmanteau of Bleed American and Hot Fuss, goes to an album that’s half great, half not so much. I’m having a hard time trying to think of an album I wanted to like more this year than Nearer My God. All the singles were great, it was receiving incredible hype, but when I sat down to listen to it, I got mind-numbingly bored. It’s just emo, nothing more than nothing less. It’s even more frustrating because half of this album is absolutely brilliant, but the other half is comprised of some of the most depressingly gray, bland, and boring indie rock I’ve heard in a calendar year. I’m sorry. 

Runner-up: Travis Scott - Astroworld

I love Tarvis Scott. He has some of the best songs in hip-hop right now, but holy god is Astroworld hit-or-miss. The album starts off strong with beat-switch bangers and a stacked guest list, but somewhere in the middle, it feels like he forgot to think of new things to say. I’ve spent thousands of words talking about how I want Trav to be better, but I guess I’ll consider Astroworld a half-step in the right direction for now.

Inevitably Going To Be The Slept-on Because It Released At The End Of The Year

Winner: Parcels - Parcels

Finally, to end on a (somewhat) positive note, I’d like to focus on two albums that were fantastic but will go largely unnoticed due to no fault of their own. Berlin-based funk group Parcels released their self-titled album this October, and it took me by complete surprise. Like a more laid-back version of Vulfpeck, the songs grove forward endlessly in the most compelling way, it’s just a shame it released by the time most major publications already had their end of the year lists ironed out.

Runner-up: Grapetooth - Grapetooth

One of Polyvinyl’s newest signees, Grapetooth is comprised of Clay Frankel and Chris Bailoni, a duo who are crafting sharp and compelling synth-based new wave. Even a cursory listen to the opening track off their debut album will offer a glimpse at the sort of shimmering Future Islands-esque tunes they’re capable of crafting, but an unknown band and a November release date are hardly a recipe for media coverage.

October 2018: Album Review Roundup

Now that we’re most of the way through 2018 I feel like it’s safe to say that this has been an incredible year for music. Maybe I’m just paying more attention than usual through these monthly roundups, but lately I’ve felt absolutely overwhelmed with a wealth of music, both new and old. It’s always easy to be hyperbolic and say “this year has been the best” while you’re in the middle of it, but October certainly made a strong case for itself. 

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TTNG - Animals Acoustic

Few bands ever find themselves in the privileged position to celebrate the tenth anniversary of anything. Even fewer bands can boast the unique distinction of having crafted one of their genre's most defining works for an entire generation of fans. When TTNG released Animals back in 2008, the band themselves probably didn’t even know what they had put out into the world. One decade down the line TTNG is celebrating with a fully-acoustic re-recording of their seminal math rock LP, and the songs sound just as fresh as the day they were recorded. Whether it’s the careening vocals of “Gibbon,” the heart-rending piano of “Crocodile,” or the jagged string section on “Badger,” every song is breathtaking. On Animals Acoustic TTNG was able to retain the original album’s brilliance while simultaneously adding just enough flourishes to make this release feels like a genuine celebration. Here’s to Animals and everything it stands for. 

St. Vincent - MassEducation

Feels like there’s no better time to admit it, but St. Vincent’s MASSEDUCTION was just barely edged off our best of 2017 list. In fact, I spent days agonizing over its 21st placement, almost going as far as turning the list into a top 25 just so I could give myself the opportunity to write about it. Needless to say, when I heard that St. Vincent was revisiting one of my favorite albums from last year in a stripped-down/reworked style I was ecstatic. While the new versions of the songs work excellently on their own, one of the more impressive aspects of MassEducation is its sequencing. Re-ordered from top to bottom, the tracklist now flows in a completely different way, delivering the same core message but somehow telling a more impactful story in the process. A beautiful companion piece to one of last year’s most impressive musical statements.

Kurt Vile - Bottle It In

If you were to look up the phrase “stone cold chiller” in the dictionary, you’d find a picture of Kurt Vile. While he initially made a name for himself contributing guitar to heartland rockers The War On Drugs, he quickly broke out through fantastic solo work and (more recently) sunny indie rock collaborations. Centered around his melting guitarwork and even-keeled vocal delivery, Bottle It In is picture-perfect Vile. From enthusiastic hoots and hollers on “Check Baby” to a smoldering solo on “Skinny Mini,” there are countless peaks on the record, but even the baseline is an ever-enjoyable laid-back slacker rock. The perfect soundtrack to a crisp fall morning or a day spent in a hammock drinking beers and taking advantage of the last warm days of summer. 

Haley Heynderickx & Max García Conover - Among Horses III

After releasing her emotionally-devastating debut earlier this year, Haley Heynderickx has been on a whirlwind of tours, press coverage, rave reviews, Tiny Desk performances, and more. Capping off her eventful 2018, the Portland, Oregon native now also gets to add “collaborative project” to that list. Teaming up with Portland, Maine-based songwriter Max García Conover, the two created Among Horses III; a six-song, seventeen-minute mindful jaunt of folky goodness. Whether weaving thoughtful narrative webs or showing off their acoustic chops, Among Horses is an aggressively-pleasant and wondrous release that leaves you wanting more. A perfect encapsulation of pensive fall weather and homesick love. 

Destroy Boys - Make Room

Destroy Boys rock. I could stop the review there, but there’s simply too much to gush about on Make Room. Ever since Spotify served me up the careening “American River” over the summer, I’ve been bumping the group on a regular basis in anticipation of this album. Featuring thrashing guitars, snarling vocals, and thunderous drums, the group’s sophomore record is picture-perfect 90’s garage rock. The band manages to capture the grungy essence of groups like Toadies, Bikini Kill, and Green Day while also putting their own spin on things for a release that feels more like a long-awaited announcement than an undiscovered punk force. Lovely, powerful, and crushing music that will leave you emotionally and physically decimated. 

Gunna and Lil Baby - Drip Harder

I love me some good trap, but it’s never a genre that I go to for artistic fulfillment. While both Gunna and Lil Baby have had a banner year of hits, viral moments, and career-elevating collabs, they rarely ever produce music that’s worth hanging your hat on. On Drip Harder the two up-and-coming rappers team up for 38-minutes of banging beats and boastful bars. While the final result won’t wind up on any end of the year lists, it’s absolutely perfect for those moments when all you need is some hyped-up background trap.

This Will Destroy You - New Others Part Two

While I feel like I just got done digesting the post-rock forebearer’s previous release, This Will Destroy You have already outdone themselves not 18 days later with a surprise follow-up to last month’s New Others Part One. While ‘Part One’ should have been a dead giveaway, the sequel’s unceremonious Tuesday release took me by complete surprise. Capping off an already-eventful year, New Others Part Two seals off the group’s 2018 into a duology of thrilling instrumental rock that’s steeped in urgency and immediacy. From ripping opener “Sound of Your Death” to slow-mounting closer “Provoke,” Part Two finds the band unfurling in exciting new directions that are both spiritually and artistically satisfying. 

The Wonder Years, Shortly, Oso Oso, and Have Mercy - Tour Split

When I first saw the announcement for this split on Instagram, I had to stand up and physically leave the room out of excitement. Featuring my favorite band of all-time, and two of my standout discoveries from this year (Shortly and Oso Oso), Tour Split finds the fall tourmates covering each other's songs in an affectionate familial style. While I already raved about Shortly’s new EP last month, hearing The Wonder Years cover one of her songs in their heartfelt style is both jaw-dropping and incredibly affirming as a fan of both parties. 

Minus the Bear - Fair Enough

While I saw them earlier this year on their victory lap of a tenth-anniversary tour, Minus The Bear’s breakup announcement this summer blindsided me and sent waves of shocked texts through my friend groups. I understand not wanting to endlessly play the same songs you wrote when you were a teen, but Minus The Bear was a band I just assumed would “always be there.” 

“Seventeen years goes by in a flash” lead singer Jake Snider admitted on-stage during an October performance of the band’s Farewell Tour. As he said this, my mind flashed to all the ways Minus The Bear has touched my life. They were my gateway to entire genres. They gave me and one of oldest friends something to bond over. They created my favorite song of all time. Minus The Bear’s music has soundtracked some of my most formative years, phases, and feelings of my life, and that makes the group’s final release all the more bittersweet to write about.

Now that I’ve had time to properly process their end (and that phase of my life along with it) I found myself emotionally-ready to enjoy the band’s newest release, and as much as I wish there were more, it’s fantastic. Featuring three new tracks and a remix to one of their biggest late-career hits, Fair Enough is a four-song send-off to nearly two decades of beauty. A wonderful punctuation mark on an entire musical lifetime. 

Quick Hits

• Kim Petras - Turn off The Light, Vol. 1: The pop princess serves up eight fresh bops on her first full release.

• Titus Andronicus - Home Alone on Halloween: A seasonal EP featuring two new songs alongside a spooky rerecording of a track from A Productive Cough. 

• Kero Kero Bonito - Time ‘n’ Place: The music that Knives Chau would have made if she were in a band. 

• Phoebe Bridgers - Stranger In the Alps (Deluxe Edition): One year after her emotionally-shattering, list-topping debut, Phoebe Bridgers gifts us a deluxe edition that adds a heart-rending Tom Petty cover and a spellbinding stripped-down demo. 

• Clarence Clarity - THINK: PIECE: Part funk, part electronic, part hip-hop, part rnb, Clarence Clarity’s newest LP is a bombastic and eclectic assault on the senses that must be heard to be believed.

• Adrianne Lenker - abysskiss: Ten lower-case folk songs that showcase an isolated soul trapped in amber and held up into the light.

• High On Fire - Electric Messiah: Ass-ripping, face-melting metal that’s more thrashy and anthemic than I was expecting. Like a spiritually-updated Iron Maiden. 

• mewithoutyou - Untitled: The follow-up to August’s equally-unnamed EP is far more lively, a little more pissed off, and a pinch more punk.

• Jim James - Uniform Clarity: The acoustic re-recording of Uniform Distortion that, when combined, showcases the exact range that Jim James and My Morning Jacket thrive within. 

• Sheck Wes - MUDBOY: Yet another viral success story, Sheck segued two mega-hits and a “SICKO MODE” name-drop into a forceful and explosive hip-hop release that can barely contain itself.

• T.I. - DIME TRAP: While he may not receive the credit he deserves when it comes to the creation of the trap genre, Dime Trap is picture-perfect proof why T.I. has endured and influenced for this long. 

• Atmosphere- Mi Vida Local: With impeccable beats and effortless flows, Slug and Ant dish out 48-minutes of hip-hop that comes pre-rolled and ready to smoke.

• Fucked Up - Dose Your Dreams: Relentless and pounding punk music featuring gnarled vocals and dancy beats. A soul-affirming odyssey on-par with Titus Andronicus. 

• Ron Gallo - Stardust Birthday Party: Self-conscious post-punk with a laid-back flavor.

• WNYC Studios - 27: The Most Perfect Album: In an effort to educate voters (and themselves) in the lead-up to Election 2018, More Perfect created a free compilation about all 27 amendments. 

• Black Peaks - All That Divides: A bold step forward into a soulful and swirling new direction for metalcore.

• Kikagaku Moyo - Masana Temples: Jazzy and light psychedelic music that lifts you up and pushes you forward. 

• Quavo - QUAVO HUNCHO: The figurehead of the Atlanta trap trio steps out into his own 19-track outing of hard-hitting bangers, emotional auto-tune, and decadent flexes.

• Yowler - Black Dog in My Path: A dark and rainy-day counterpart to yesterday’s unbridled optimism. 

• Basement - Beside Myself: Tasteless and formulaic indie pop-punk.

• Future & Juice WRLD - WRLDONDRUGS: After putting himself on the map with one of 2018’s most unexpected hits Juice WRLD teamed up with Future for a quickly-turned-around collab of drug use and emotional abuse. 

• Greta Van Fleet - Anthem Of The Peaceful Army: It’s not that bad. 

• Lil Yachty - Nuthin’ 2 Prove: After kinda reaching my tipping point with Lil Boat 2, Yachty returns with a half-step in the right direction and a focus on bangers over everything.

• Empress Of - Us: Bilingual indie music with pop production and endlessly-accessible delivery.

• Open Mike Eagle - What Happens When I Try To Relax: Hyper-aware hip-hop that inhales pop-culture and lobs it back at you before you can even react.

• Cloud Nothings - Last Building Burning: Hard-charging punk music that springs back and forth from spiraling darkness to boundless optimism. 

• Trent Reznor & Atticus Rose - Mid90s (Original Soundtrack): Short but sweet, Trent Reznor and Atticus Rose team up yet again to provide sparkles of pensive, instrumental moments in between the time-appropriate hip-hop of Jonah Hill’s directorial debut. 

• Will Oldham - Songs of Love and Horror: Music for the spiritually-exhausted.

• Ashland - misc: Rise Record’s newest signees release a three-song teaser of their hard-hitting anthemic balladry. 

• R.E.M. - Live at the BBC: A decade-spanning five-disc collection of the band’s BBC performances, all of which amount to 7.5-hours of classic alternative radio hits. 

• John Carpenter, Cody Carpenter, Daniel Davies - Halloween (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack): Just in time for the holiday itself John Carpenter and Daniel Davies team up yet again alongside Carpenter’s son for a fast-paced piano-laden return to one of Horror’s most iconic scores.

• Khalid - Suncity: After managing to become a global pop star overnight with his debut record, the American Teen is back with a mini-album of fresh songs to keep the die-hard fans satisfied. 

• MØ - Forever Neverland: One of pop music’s best-kept secrets finally gives fans her long-awaited sophomore album, and it’s a colorful and perfectly-produced work of art. 

• Weakened Friends - Common Blah: Weakened Friends offer up slightly-punky throwback garage rock tunes that transport you back in time two decades with minimal effort. 

• Petal - Live at Studio 4: The Run For Cover indie rocker continues to shake my emotional state with a three-pack of live songs from this year’s Magic Gone. 

• Advance Base - Live on Audiotree: A relaxed stroll through the singer/songwriter’s most impactful songs to date. 

• Thom Yorke - Suspiria Soundtrack: The Radiohead frontman scores a (mostly) instrumental horror movie for a distorting out-of-body 80-minutes.

• Antarctigo Vespucci - Love in the Time of E-Mail: Jeff Rosenstock and Chris Farren team up for one of indie music’s most vivacious supergroups of the year.

• Unknown Mortal Orchestra - IC-01 Hanoi: A collection of wonderfully-weird instrumental tracks that provide a counterpoint to this year’s satiating Sex & Food.

• MadeinTYO - Sincerely, Tokyo: Lively and youthful bangers with more ad-libs than any man can handle. 

• Julia Holter's - Aviary: 90-minutes of spaced-out feelings and drip-fed emotions.

• William Shatner - Shatner Claus - The Christmas Album: The man recorded “Jingle Bells” with Henry Rollins, and if that doesn’t excite you, then I don’t know what will.

• John Legend - Legendary Christmas: It’s “Adult Contempo” as hell, but Legend definitely gets points for original songs. 

• Daughters - You Won't Get What You Want: Noisy and industrial rock that soundtracks the mass-destruction of society. 

• The Berries - Start All Over Again: Jangle-heavy tunes that rumble with a spiritual ferocity.

• Stand Atlantic - Skinny Dipping: Bouncy female-fronted pop-punk that’s as catchy as it is relatable. 

• Ty Segall - Fudge Sandwich: His third release of the year, Furdge Sandwich sees the prolific multi-instrumantalist covering everyone from John Lennon to Amon Düül II in an extremely-brown style. 

• Robyn - Honey: Robyn returns for her first release in eight years, offering up a cleanly-produced slate of nine immaculate electropop songs. 

• Mick Jenkins - Pieces of a Man: Humanizing hip-hop.

• The Browning - Geist: The Missouri-born metal act add some much-needed poppy and electronic metalcore to the genre’s landscape.

• Arlington - A Walk Through Jackson County: One of Rise Records’ most perplexing signees dole out a catchy batch of country-flavored alternative rock.

• Laura Gibson - Goners: Warmed by coffee and filled with winter air, the Oregon-born folk artist crafts ten rural love songs.

• Blocboy JB - Don’t Think That: The greatest Memphis glow-up of the year heats up the winter with an EP full of ignorant bangers.

• Curren$y, Freddie Gibbs, and The Alchemist - Fetti: A spiritual successor to their GTA contribution continuing the collab for another jazzy and free-flowing 23-minutes.

Plus new singles from Charli XCX, Pusha T, Anderson .Paak, Pond, Lil Pump, Courtney Barnett, Kurt Vile, Soccer Mommy, Pond, Hovvdy, Regrettes, Flight of the Conchords, Girlpool, Weezer, FIDLAR, Kodak Black, Billie Eilish, Post Malone, Toro y Moi, Denzel Curry, Protomartyr, Lil Peep, Powers Pleasant, Saves The Day, Vulfpeck, Citizen, Cardi B, Bring Me The Horizon, Takeoff, Tyler, The Creator, Tides of Man, Fleet Foxes, Varsity, Deerhunter, Thundercat, Flatbush Zombies, Beach House, Young Fathers, Slipknot, and Pedro The Lion.